HDH 17 - A Guest Blogger

If you want to know what this is about click here.

Tracie from Stir Fry Awesomeness is hanging out today. I know most of you know her and that makes me happy because she is fansmashingtastic. She never fails to make me laugh and since she thinks sarcasm is an art form, I must say she is quite the artist. Please read and enjoy!

*Before you read this post please be aware that in my neck of the woods we don't pronounce the "L" sound in caulk. This will be much more amusing if you do the same whilst reading.*

You know that my husband is too busy working to do manual labor. Therefore, I have had all manner of skilled (and unskilled) tradesmen sprucing up Casa de la Awesome.

I could do a series of posts on each one as they were all “characters”. (Remember the weirdo magnet?) And most of them have been talkers. (Like my kids on crack.)

Gary The Painter was no exception. He was hired to paint the downstairs bathroom, the stairway and half of the family room.

“Why only half of the family room?” the curious reader might ask.

Because Hubs started to paint it 2 years ago and he never finished. Six months of nagging and nookie were required for the first half to get done.

Gary had more issues than the New Yorker. One of them was his troubled love life. According to Gary, the women he met were only interested in money and sex.

(Could they have been hookers?)

Anyho, the entire time Gary painted he talked to me. It didn't matter if I was upstairs and he was downstairs, he continued his little therapy session.

(Perhaps HE should have paid ME?)

Eventually Gary deduced that Casa de la Notso Awesome needed many, many repairs and that Hubs was never going to do them. Then he became even more friendly and enthusiastic about his job.

First, Gary tried to convince me that he and a buddy could do the master bathroom re-model because he knew how to put up drywall.

(I was fairly certain that there was more to a bathroom remodel than drywall. But thanks, anyway.)

So Gary fell back on his forte - painting. He tried to talk me into hiring him to repaint all the trim and molding in the house. He was racing around pointing out all the imperfections and improper techniques that had been used.

Gary’s biggest pet peeve?

Caulk.

Here are some direct quotes from him:

“See here. This shoulda had some caulk on it right off the bat.”

“Look at this. The caulk’s not wide enough.”

“There are different sizes of caulk. You have to have the right size for each area.”

“Caulk comes in different colors, too.”

Are you saying "That’s What She Said" after each of these?

In the end, Gary was a lousy painter. So I sent him on his way after the original job was completed.

But he did leave me with some parting words of wisdom which I feel compelled to pass along to all my bloggy buddies. Consider it my gift to the Blogosphere.


"Always remember, wherever there’s a crack, you need caulk."