Friday, July 30, 2010

Feel Good Friday

The Girl Next Door’s Feel Good Friday is being hosted by RN Mama this week. Since I have hearts over my head for RN Mama, I just had to play along.

I have a lot of friends. Some of them are scattered around the country, some of them live close. Most of them are guys. Though I am usually always surrounded by people, I only have one girlfriend who lives nearby. Rachel is over at least 2 nights each week. She is a fixture in my house. She is a member of my wolf pack. When I broke my pelvis she sat with me on every one of her days off of work. We have boxed wine nights together which consist of us drinking an entire box of wine, getting shit faced and telling funny stories. She comes over every Sunday for True Blood nights. Yeah, she drives me nuts sometimes, but I love her and am so happy to have her in my life.

On June 1st Rachel left for a three month trip to Greece.

For this whole summer I have been without my sidekick. We were the Gruesome Twosome, the Dynamic Duo. She was always there to get me out of a jam. And for the past two months I’ve had to go it alone.

This doesn’t sound very feel good, does it? Just wait….

Occasionally I would get a mass email she sent to everyone updating people on her whereabouts and adventures. Every once in a while I would get a quick message on FB saying something generic like “miss you!” I didn’t really feel jilted because I know she is an ocean away, but I was sure she didn’t miss me as much as I miss her.

And then yesterday I got an email from her. She needed my advice on something so I sent a reply. This morning I got this back from her:

You are truly my BFF, life partner, and person,
Thank you so much for everything that you said. I needed it so much and I miss you more than you know. And it is the same for me, every time that I get something from you it makes me want to cry (but I don't because I'm like that and always in public) I miss you guys sooooo much. And you had better keep all of the True Blood episodes because I NEED to see them! LOL, and the boxed wine night will be right off the bat! I will have to stop by when I get back in the states! Count on it!
All my love,

See? She does miss me as much as I miss her. And that makes me feel good. It’s good to be missed.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Kirk and Corey, Together Forever

Last December Leland and I had an 80’s party for my friend Siren’s 30th birthday.

Siren gave me some names of people she wanted me to invite and as I was going over the list I saw that two very important names were missing.

Kirk Cameron and Corey Haim.

I knew we couldn’t have an 80’s party without those honored guests. They just had to be there.

Ebay to the rescue. In just a few minutes I was able to purchase old posters of Kirk and Corey. When the night of the party came, Kirk and Corey were taped up in my living room above the couch.

It is nearly 8 months later and Kirk and Corey are still on the wall in my living room. It just has never occurred to me that I should take them down. They have been the most amazing conversation piece ever and I don’t think I can part with them. In fact, I think I need to add to my collection. Kirk and Corey have been hanging out there for so long that I think they need some new company. I have been considering adding Jonathan Taylor Thomas (JTT as he was known when I was young), and Rider Strong from Boy Meets World. Who else do you think I should add to my collection of childhood heartthrobs that adorns my wall?

For those of you who are interested/wondering/concerned, I will return with regularly scheduled Hump Day Hangover posts next week. I have not forgotten and have not given up, there just haven’t been many awesome stories to post. But I going camping this weekend for 4 days and I am sure that having sex while camping and being dirty, smelly and covered in mosquito repellant will yield some funny events.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Monday Minute with Kmama and Ian

Today I am linking up with Kmama and Ian at The Daily Dose of Reality for the Monday Minute. Check them out and link up as well!

Monday Minute

1. Who is your "what-if" person?
Dave. Friends since 4th grade, Dave was my first love. We were super tight, always there for each other, shared a locker in high school, always had each other's backs. But it seemed the only time he wanted me was when I was in a relationship with someone else. A few months after Leland and I moved in together he asked me to leave Leland and be with him. When I told Leland this all he said was "can you blame him? You're awesome." A month before Leland and I got married Dave and I were slow dancing at another friend's wedding. He told me I was the most beautiful person in the room, he said he loved me and he has always loved me...then he asked me not to get married. I gave him a hug, a kiss on the cheek, and then left to find Leland and go home. Of course I married Leland. There was never any question. When I told Leland what happened he said that he felt sorry for him, but was happy for himself because I was making him the luckiest man in the world. Dave and I are still friends. Leland still likes Dave. But sometimes I wonder what things would have been like if Dave wanted me when I was single and in love with him.

2. What is your nickname?
Well, my name is Alyson but people rarely call me that. I hear Al and Aly more than anything, Leland and Siren call me Alycakes or just Cakes, and sometimes Leland calls me Sweet Pea or Asbestos. Yes, that's right, my husband's nickname for me is a poisonous chemical. That's ok, I sometimes call him Fungi.

3. If you could choose how you died, how would you like to die?
When I am really old, sleeping in Leland's arms.

4. If you could have named yourself, which name would you have picked?
I have no idea. I think I make a very good Al.

5. Who were you named after or for what reason did your parents choose your name?
My middle name is Louise. After my grandmother.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Medical Advice From Leland

A few weeks ago Leland woke up with a nasty rash type thing on his chest. It was red and itchy and just popped up while he was sleeping. The day the rash arrived was also the day that Leland and I were heading out of town to do some hiking and swimming at Devil’s Lake in Wisconsin. Naturally we weren’t going to let a little rash get in the way of the trip. We packed a first-aid kit of random creams and we were on our way.

Leland used an anti-bac cream first. When it wasn’t really helping the itching, I suggested he use the cream that I used for my yeast infection. You see, yeast is a bacteria and I figured that if the rash was caused by some sort of bacteria then the yeast infection cream might be able to help. He alternated between the yeast cream and the anti-bac cream all day, neither of them really helping him at all.

While we were swimming in the lake we were discussing other options. (Yes, I know that water is not good for rashes, but like I said, we weren't going to let the rash ruin our good time). Leland hates seeing doctors, so he wanted to try and treat the rash by himself for 48 hours. But we had to face facts, the creams we brought weren’t working and he needed some relief. So I did what any wife would do.

I peed on him.

Yes, you read that right, I peed on my husband.

Leland once read that Madonna pees on her feet every once in a while to help fight infection and bacteria. Since he read that article years ago, he has been peeing on his feet about once a week. A year ago a friend came to him with a small problem. The friend had a weird rash thingy on his feet and he wanted Leland’s expert medical advice. (Really, skip googling your ailment and just come to Leland. He can totally help you out). Leland told him to pee on it. So his crazy friend obeyed and his rash was gone two days later. Now this friend pees on his feet once a week as well. It seems Leland is converting people.

So naturally Leland would think urine is the answer to the strange rash on his chest. The problem was that he couldn’t pee on it himself. He needed me to do it for him.

As we were swimming in the lake and having a great time people watching, we were considering how we were going to do it. The idea of squatting over him just wasn’t all that appealing. And ladies, we all know that we usually don’t pee in one nice stream, so I was concerned about pee going in his eyes, up his nose or in his mouth. Squatting wasn’t going to cut it. We eventually decided that I would pee in a cup and then pour it over the rash. So that’s what we did.

It wasn’t until much later that night that I realized I didn’t need to be involved at all. Why did I pee in a cup when he could have peed in a cup himself? And did I really need to pour the pee on him in the shower? It seems to me that he could have done it himself. But I did think it was a good idea in the first place, so obviously I wasn’t thinking clearly at all.

p.s. The urine didn’t help. It turns out the strange rash was shingles. It’s a good thing he only waited 48 hours before going to the doctor. And yes, Leland told the doctor everything he put on the outbreak.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

It's Wednesday Home Peeps!

If you want to know what this is about click here.

When Leland and I first embarked on this journey, many of you told me to have fun having sex now, because it becomes so much harder once we have kids. For the past week I have been getting a tiny little taste of what everyone meant.

Leland’s nephews are visiting with us this week. Which is why I haven’t been around at all this past week. They arrived last Wednesday and will be staying until Saturday. Since they have been with us we have only had sex 3 times.

I don’t know how people do it. Maintaining a sex life while there are kids around is so tricky. Maybe it just takes practice. There has been no sex in the middle of the day. There has been no sex in the shower or on the couch. The only time we can do it is at night after the boys are sleeping. And by that time there is a good possibility that Leland and I are sleeping as well.

I don’t know how parents do it. And by “do it,” I mean DO IT.

Really. It is so hard.

Well, actually, IT isn’t HARD at all. Having the boys around has totally deflated Leland’s hard-on. And, if I am being completely honest, it has deflated mine as well. Though I want to have sex, right now it isn’t nearly as important as getting sleep.

Oh sleep. It has been a week since you and I have been close. Please come back to me?

There have been several nights when I have literally begged Leland to have sex with me. By the way, has anyone been keeping track of how much I have had to beg Leland to have sex with me? This is getting out of hand! But anyway, he just couldn’t do it. He has been too worried that the boys would walk in and catch us or that they might hear the tiniest sound coming from our room.

The 3 times we have done it, it has been quite, quick and efficient. And we did it in the dark for the first time EVER. In 8 years, we have never had sex in the dark before this past week. I definitely enjoyed it. It was just new and different and made me feel very sexy.

The boys leave at lunchtime on Saturday. You better believe Leland and I have nothing to do on Sunday but make up for time lost this past week.

p.s. You all know Leland reads this blog, so please don't make any comments about how you never have sex now that you have kids. If Leland reads that, he just may decide to never get me pregnant for fear of losing the nookie. You would be surprised how many times he says "someone left a comment on your blog saying....."