Monday, June 29, 2009

Not Me! Monday

I've seen some of my blogging friends post a Not Me Monday and I figured this would be a good day to let all of you know some of the things I absolutely DID NOT do this weekend.

On Friday night I did NOT sit around and watch Season 4 of LOST while Leland cleaned. I did NOT break my promise to do the laundry.

On Saturday I did NOT wait til the last minute to get a christening gift. I will NOT be giving my gift late.

I did NOT spend the whole day playing in the pool when I knew I had errands to run.

I did NOT embarrass myself at a party on Saturday night by falling off the cooler I was sitting on and having a table fall on top of me. I did NOT chug a beer after it happened on a dare and end up spitting beer out my nose.

On Sunday I did NOT get into an argument at the christening party with family members. I did NOT let my strong opinions get the best of me... though I secretly think they are one of the best things about me. I did NOT get passionate and emotional during the argument. The argument did NOT stop by said people telling me they had enough. I did NOT come home from the party and have 2, yes 2, bottles of wine.

So there you have it, my first NOT ME Monday. I hope all of you enjoyed your weekends!

Friday, June 26, 2009

Beer for Lunch

As much as I complain about my job, I never forget about the awesome perks. Like beer with my lunch on Fridays. This doesn't happen all the time, but when it does, I feel like I have the best job in the world.

How many people do you know who can have beer for lunch while at work?

Beer for lunch was something I talked the big man on campus into doing. A few years ago, on the day before Thanksgiving, we were really busy. The town I work in holds a Turkey Testicle Festival every year on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Usually the boss would take me on our lunch break for a quick testicular treat and some warm Bud Light. On this given Wednesday there just wasn't any time. I came up with the perfect compromise.

"So we don't break our tradition of getting buzzed on lunch the day before Thanksgiving, you should just run to the store and pick up a sixer. I promise I'll be more productive with some beer in my belly."

Surprisingly he did it.

We still try to get to the Turkey Testicle Festival every year, but if we don't, there is always a plentiful supply of beer in the fridge. And sometimes we take the testicles to go.

I am sure you are all aware that today is not the day before Thanksgiving. But after that day, the boss became generous with Beer for Lunch days. Sometimes when it's early spring and the weather is just getting nice he'll pick up some beer and we'll just sit in the parking lot and enjoy the sun. Other times, if we're both having a bad day, beer is the answer. And then there are times like today. I am alone in the office because the boss is in the middle of the ocean with his family. And although I didn't ask, I am assuming that the six pack of Dos Equis Lager was put in the fridge for me to drink.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Oh Men!

This morning on our way to work, Leland told me he has been reading my blog. I love it when he reads my blog. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Those warm, fuzzy feelings only lasted for a brief moment.

"You know," Leland says, "if we lived in a post-apocalyptic society, I would have to leave you behind. You would be a liability."

I gave him by best What The F*@k look.

"Kidding, honey. I'm just kidding," he says, "sort of."

He's lucky I love him.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Let There be Light

On Friday around 6pm a storm blew through my town. It took lots of trees and all of the electricity from my street with it.

I like to think I'm a tough girl and that I could fight my way living in a post-apocalyptic world, but after living without electricity for 48 hours, I realized I have a lot of toughening up to do. I rallied pretty well. I woke up early on Saturday to get the house and yard cleaned up. I took care of all the food in the fridge and then went out and bought $65 dollars worth of batteries. I know, that sounds like a lot but they were all needed. By noon I was all set for a long night without power. On Sunday morning I refilled the coolers with ice and then spent the day with my dad. And although living without power wasn't terribly hard, I did do a lot of whining. There can be no whining is a post-apocalyptic world. If I can't make it 48 hours without whining about the lack of power I'll never make it longer than 1 hour after North Korea unleashes it's wrath.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I'm Rubber and You're Glue

My office is in an industrial complex surrounded by other companies that ship and have large items delivered. Most of the companies are manufacturers. However, right next door to my office is a dance studio. Every day when I leave work, there are at least 6-8 little girls running around the parking lot. Last week one of them decided to talk to me.

I was leaving work and minding my own business. I had a boring day at work and just wanted to get home as quickly as possible. Right before I stepped in my car, I heard a young girl’s voice ask “Why are you always here?” Coming from such as small person, I expected the girl to have a small voice. But no. The question was accusatory. When I turned around to reply, I saw her standing behind me with her hands on her hips and she was tapping one foot. She looked like she was all of 7 years old.

“This is where I work,” I replied.
“Well my mommy says girls shouldn’t have to work,” the 7 year old said.
“Well some people don’t work, some people do. It’s a personal choice that everyone has to make,” I said. Then she decides to hit below the belt.
“Doesn’t your husband make enough money so you don’t have to work?”
Now I’m trying not to yell at her and call her names. “I work because I want to be a contributing member of society.”
“I don’t even know what that means!” She yells.
Then I yell back, “that’s because you’re 7!”
“I’m 8! Besides, none of my friend’s mommies work.”
“That’s probably because they are raising their kids and taking care of their families,” I said.
“Well why aren’t you at home taking care of your kids?” she asks.
“Because I don’t have kids,” I said.

And this is where I almost lost it, but somehow kept my cool.
“Aren’t you a little old not to have kids?”

I was about to get all “I’m rubber and you’re glue” on her, then I remembered that it has been 20 years since I was 8 years old and I am a smart, confident, fansmashingtastic ADULT woman and I would not let an 8 year old make me lose my cool. So I just got in my car and drove away. The thought of this little girl getting a healthy dose of reality in 20 years made me laugh all the way home.

Monday, June 15, 2009


This past weekend, the husband and I had our motorcycle riding training course. At the end of the course we are all tested and then given licenses. I did so well all weekend long, but then come the test, I totally f*@dek it up. I failed. It was a sad story. We had to do a quick stop exercise. I was riding along at 15mph in 2nd gear, then had to downshift and stop. Maybe because I was nervous, or maybe a little to cocky, I screwed it all up. Instead of grabbing the front brake that is in front of the throttle, I grabbed the throttle, increased speed and lost control of the bike. This resulted in the bike falling on top of me. If someone drops the bike, they automatically fail :(

I learned one great lesson though. To always, always, always wear a helmet. If I wasn't wearing my helmet I would most likely have half a shaved head and several stitches. My whole body went down and I smacked my head hardcore on the ground. One concussion is enough for a year! Thank goddess I was wearing a helmet. At least I got one fansmashinglytastic battle wound out of it. Almost the entire inside of my left calf is covered with an ugle bruise.

I can go to the local DMV and retest at any time. Right now I am looking for someone with a small enough bike to take the test with. My hog is too big and will be hard for me to make the tight turning radii with. Hopefully in the next few weeks I'll be writing and telling all of you of a better testing experience.

I have a rubber butt, I bounce back. I will not give up and soon I'll be riding with my neighbor who'll teach me all about being a tough ass riding bitch. I can't wait.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Hijinx in KY

The Hubby and I love to take roadtrips. We took our very first roadtrip one month after we started dating. A week or so before we became "official," we were at a restaurant and I had mentioned that I had never had a philly cheesesteak sandwich. After trying to get me to order one, I said no way. The first time I have a philly cheesesteak needs to be in Philly from a street vendor.

It was then that we decided we would leave on a Friday night after work and drive to Philly so I can have a blissful moment with lots of beef and cheese.

I highly recommend that everyone takes a trip with a new boy or girlfriend at the very beginning of a relationship. After being in a car with someone for hours, all of the embarrassing things that can happen that most people are afraid to let happen...well, actually end up happening. After one sickness we called the Death Virus and one case of raging diarrhea, we were both introduced to each other's nasty excrement. I know it sounds gross, and trust me it was, but after that we realized we are both human and we both poop so we should just get used to the fact that the other person does it.

Because of all the vomiting and pooping, I never got my cheesesteak sandwich. To this day, nearly seven years after that trip, I still have never had a cheesesteak sandwich.

Since then we have taken quite a few roadtrips together. Some places have been exciting like New Orleans and Mt. Rushmore. Other places were not so cool but we had fun anyway, like Radcliffe KY and Charleston WV.

While in KY, all we really did was drink. A lot. Because the husband loves all things Whiskey related, we took a short trip to check out the Maker's Mark Distillery. In this photo you can see the husband, Eric and Sexy D get pumped for the free whiskey tasting.

Here's a pic of the whole crew. I'm surprised none of us are wincing in that shot after the first shot of whisky. Maybe Hot Husband has turned all of us into whisky drinkers after all.

And to prove that all we did was drink, the last picture I'm going to share is one taken in our hotel room, after all five of us had done at least two beer bongs. That's right. 5 adults who are closer to 30 than we are to 21 were doing beer bongs in a hotel room.

Getting Tired

I know this economy sucks, but is anyone else getting sick of "being lucky to have a job?" I know I am. I would much rather be "lucky to have a good job," or even "lucky to have a job I like." Instead, I am perpetually stuck with "lucky to have a job." Even though I hate it. Even though I sometimes cry in the mornings because I don't want to go to work.

Yesterday I was informed I would be switching offices. I'll only be moving across the parking lot, but now instead of having a job I hate, I'll be doing a job I loath. Whereas before I simply wasn't happy with the job I was doing, I'll now be doing a job that makes slitting my wrists a viable option. I guess it's lucky I don't have any suicidal tendencies.

The husband thinks I should tell my boss what this move it gonna do to me but I know it won't make a difference. I know it's time for me to leave this job and move on. But where do I go? I've been looking around and keep finding nothing. But I know I can't stay there.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Vroom Vroom!

I'm back from my weekend in Kentucky. I'm always amazed at how different life is in different parts of the country. Having spent my life so close to a city, I was surprised to see small town life. People were riding horses in the street, sitting on tailgates and drinking beers, and I actually saw one guy lift his white Hanes tshirt and start rubbing his beer belly and pick at his belly button.

We had a great time and I will post some pictures of our hijinx and shenanigans later this week. Right now I want to introduce all of you to my new set of wheels. After years of begging, Hot Husband finally agreed to let me have this:

It is an 89 Harley Sportster. As of right now I have no idea how to drive it, but by this time next week I'll be licensed to drive! The husband and I are taking a class this weekend. I'm pumped and a little nervous at the same time. The Harley has been sitting in our garage for weeks and I can't wait to take it for a spin!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

An Eventful Week...Finally Getting Caught Up!

Where do I begin? Let's see...

Siren arrived on Tuesday night with her boyfriend Charlie Brown. We jumped and hugged and screamed like little girls while Charlie Brown and Hot Husband laughed at us. We spent the entire night just sitting around talking and drinking. And didn't go to sleep until 3am even though I had to work in the morning. Needless to say, I was a wreck on Wednesday. Lucky for me the boss was out of the office all day. Somehow I was able to make it through the day without having to talk to or see anyone. When I got home, we all went to visit my family for a while, then came home, had dinner, and proceeded to stay up again til 3am talking and drinking. Together we planned out an entire movie we plan on writing which we are sure will make us millions of dollars! Right now it's top secret, but I might have to spill some details from pure excitement.

On Thursday we all went to Chicago, and since this was Charlie Brown's first visit to Chicago, we went to the Sears Tower and did the touristy thing, then went to the Museum of Contemporary Art and the Art Institute. The Art Institute opened a new Modern Wing a few months ago and it was really cool to check out. We finished the night at Wrigley Field watching the Cubs lose to the Dodgers. It was a sad story but the $6.50 Oldstyle got us all through it. We made it home around midnight and then continued our habit of sitting around and chatting til 3am.

On Friday Siren and I woke up early and got manis and pedis. We then went to the local jewelry store and spent the rest of the morning trying on beautiful pieces of jewelry neither of us can afford. Siren and Charlie Brown left around 2pm, right as my sister was going into labor. Friday night was crazy and fun and exciting, and I still can't believe there is another baby in the family.

On Sunday Siren and Charlie Brown came back and stayed with us so they could be all rested up for their long drive back to Austin, TX. This was the only night of their stay that we made it to sleep before midnight.

It is now the middle of the week, and as much as I would love to have a relaxing weekend after the week of chaos and mayhem, Hot Husband and I are leaving on Friday to spend the weekend with our friend Eric who is living in KY for the time being. Sexy D and his girlfriend Traveler will be coming with us, so I know there is no sleep in store for me this weekend!