Friday, September 9, 2011

The 10 Year Anniversary

The 9/11 anniversary is on Sunday. Every time I turn on the computer I am jarred by all of the photos. When I turn on the radio I cry when I hear the stories. I know the press is probably just trying to honor those who died and possibly bring some comfort to those who lost loved ones that day. I know it is a devastating day in our history.

I just can’t handle it. I am a very sensitive person and seeing the photos and reading the stories make me cry. Big, fat, elephant sized tears. Like every other human being in this country, and most human beings on this earth, I will never forget what happened that day. Seeing it all over again isn’t reminding me of anything. How can you be reminded when you never forgot?

It just makes me incredibly sad. My heart breaks all over again. And the thing is, I can’t NOT read the stories or look at the pictures. Though I try to pass over the article I see about 9/11 online, I just can’t do it. For some reason I put myself through the pain all over again. Maybe I do it because I know there are people who still suffer with real pain from that day. And really, being sad for a few days every year about it is nothing compared to what some people went through and are still going through.

But I just can’t handle it. Unlike millions of people, I will not be turning on my TV to watch coverage. I will not read articles online, I will not listen to radio programs. It doesn’t mean I don’t care, it surely doesn’t mean I am not affected. It just means my heart can’t take the pain anymore.