Thursday, July 30, 2009

I Have a Serious Problem

I CANNOT get any work done when I am alone in the office. I am blaming all of you for this. Because of you, I am pulled to read interesting, funny, smart, thoughtful blogs instead of actually working. I have been alone in the office for the last 4 hours and I have literally done NO WORK AT ALL. I am, however, caught up with all of my bloggie friends and hopefully made some new ones.

How do I get over this blog addiction? Not that I really want to get over it, I just need to figure out how to be disciplined enough to close blogger and get back to work. I don't think that will ever happen.

My desk is a mess, so if I don't get something done in the next hour the boss will know I goofed off all afternoon instead of doing what he pays me to do. That leaves me an hour to do 4 hours of work. I better get busy!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The Boss Just Left the Building!

You know what that means...

getting paid to blog!

My week/weekend has been busy yet uneventful at the same time. After I left you on Friday, Leland and I went to the Ratt concert at the House of Blues. I can't tell you how the show was because I have no idea.

For some reason I thought it was a great idea to do about 1000 tequila shots before the end of the opening band. Now, I love me my tequila, but I learned a long time ago what my limit is. One shot loosens me up, two gets me pretty buzzed, and three makes me get really loud and talk obnoxiously with my hands...and I start slurring my words. Three is my limit. On Friday night, for reasons I cannot fathom, I threw that limit out the window and probably multiplied it by 4. This probably goes without saying, but it was not a good idea. I don't remember much after the last shot, but Leland tells me he had to carry me to the car. It's a good thing he works out.

Naturally, I spent all day on Saturday hungover. Leland and I spent most of the day on the couch watching season 8 of Friends while I drank glass after glass of water. It was so nice that he took care of me. Getting off the couch was simply not an option for me on Saturday.

Sunday was my mom's birthday and I spent the morning running around like a crazy woman trying to get things ready for the family to come over and celebrate. I had planned on doing most of the stuff on Saturday, but due to my massive hangover, it just didn't happen. Leland and I spent a good 4 hours cooking and cleaning. When the family came over I was so glad to relax. It was a nice visit with my family. We are closer than most families I know, but with there being so many women, it is rare to have a family gathering that doesn't result in some kind of petty argument. We made it all the way through the day without anyone getting upset or mad! Yay!

Later that evening, Leland and I took a walk around the neighborhood. We are trying to go for a walk every evening. It had rained for about a half hour earlier that day so on our walk we decided it would be great fun to stand underneath trees and shake their wet branches on us. It was great fun! We walked til about midnight and by the time we got home we were pretty damn wet.

Now it is the middle of the work week and I am looking forward to the coming weekend. I don't have anything planned, but Leland and I will be celebrating our one year anniversary on Sunday. Maybe we'll go out for Mexican.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Thank Goddess it's Friday

It's Friday. I feel like this 5 day work week as lasted 8 days. Only 4 more hours of work until it is officially the weekend.

Work as been pretty bland lately, but it usually is so this shouldn't surprise me. The transfer from the old office to the new office so going s..l..o..w..l..y.
I'm trying to make the transition as exciting as possible buy cleaning up the "new" office, looking at carpet samples (the current carpet is saturated with dog urine from the general manager's dog. One of the terms of my move was new carpet and that the manager couldn't bring his dog to work anymore. The place stinks of urine), finding new office furniture and file cabinets, trying to decide on bookshelves and looking for things I can do to make it feel like my own. I'm hoping that if I can be comfortable where I am at I will be less likely to complain about going to work every day.

I'm a little annoyed at my boss because I just found out that he is going to be paying the woman taking my place at the old office more than he pays me. I understand I am already getting paid more than I probably should, but I think (though I may be wrong) that my 8 years of kick ass service, my ability to do every single job within the company, my dedication and trust with everything would be worth getting paid what the new woman is getting paid. I sort of feel like I just got a slap in the face. Expecially since he told me I would not be getting a raise this year because the company cannot afford it. I know everyone's salary is their own business, and I would never have cared if the woman hadn't called me on my personal cell phone and told me what she was offered. But now that I know, I can't stop thinking about it. And I know there is no way I can talk to my boss about it. I guess it's just one more thing about my job that I have to deal with.

On a brighter note, I am going to see Ratt tonight. They are playing at the House of Blues in Chicago and I am soooooo pumped. It will be a great way to start the weekend and to cleanse myself of this very long week. We are going with our friends Sexy D and Traveler and they are always so much fun to be with. Hopefully tomorrow I'll have some fun photos to post!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

My New Mantra

Chin up, tits out

Though I can't take credit for it. I heard it from Yellowdog Granny. She always has something smart and clever to say. When I read "chin up, tits out," it totally made my day. Now whenever I am feeling blue, I say this to myself and I actually lift my head and push my boobs out. It always makes me feel better.

Thanks Yellowdog Granny!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I've Been Tagged

Skinny Bitching has tagged me to take this survey. Since I am totally bored at work, I thought I could kill some time...

Make a list of things you can see without getting up:
I'll sum it up with lots and lots of office supplies and stuff.

What were you like when you were five?
I can't be sure since I was only five, but I am guessing since I am the middle child I was somewhat of a brat. Some people may say not much has changed, but I think I've come a long way!

What are you wearing now?
Jeans, a pink tank top and black flip flops. My usual attire.

What color is your bedroom?
Green. Sort of. I painted one wall green when we first moved in and stopped there. I love accent walls, but this one really isn't doing it for me.

What’s the last thing you read/are currently reading?
I am currently reading The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs. He spent the year following the Bible as literally as possible and writes about his experience. Apparently there are a lot of weird rules in the Bible that he is trying to stoning adulterers and not wearing clothes with mixed fibers. It's funny. I would give it 4 thumbs up if I had 4 thumbs.

Do you nap a lot?
I'm not a good sleeper so the only time I can take naps is if I am sick.

Who was the last person you hugged?
Probably my friend Eric. He visited last night before he left town on one of his long work trips and I know I gave him a hug. I'm not sure thought if I hugged Leland after I hugged him....

What’s your current obsession/addiction?
Probably blogging. And ice cream sandwiches.

What was the last thing you said aloud?
"Thanks and have a good day" at the end of a phone call.

What websites do you always visit when you go online?,, yahoo and my bank website.

What was the last thing you bought?
I'm pretty sure it was a venti black tea lemonade from Starbucks

What are you listening to right now?
The ringing of the fax machine

What is your favorite color, and has it always been your favorite color?
My current favorite color is green and it has been green for a while. However, I think at some point in my life every color has made it to the favorite mark. But they have since been demoted, or my new favorite word for demoted: plutoed.

What song are you currently listening to a lot?
I can't think of one song, but lately I have been listening to Killswitch Engage and Bullet for my Valentine.

If you could have any super power, what would it be?
I would like to be able to breathe while under water so I could build my own Atlantis.

What is your favorite weather, and why?
Sunny and hot. I love the water and want to be able to swim all the time.

What is your most challenging goal right now?
To lose weight. And to learn to ride the motorcycle.

If you could have a house–totally paid for, fully furnished–anywhere in the world, where would you want it to be?

Favorite vacation spot?
Anywhere on a I can go swimming.

What is your favorite children’s book?
If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. I have loved it forever. Along with the Sweet Valley Twins.

Name one thing you just can’t resist no matter how bad it is for you:
Wine. Lots and lots of wine. And currently ice cream sandwiches.

If you could meet anyone famous - dead or alive - who would it be?
Harry Connick Jr. I love him. So much. I think he's yummy.

If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?
International Jet-Setter. Whatever that is. But I think it would look rad on a business card.

and now, i, in turn, tag:
Anyone interested in playing along!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Tuesday Morning, Raw Recording

Let's see. Where to begin?

Sticker giveaway update: I did not win the giveaway. However, the woman who did win, Kathie at mynetfinds decided to give away the prize to me. I guess after reading all of my posts and comments at carmasez she decided that I could use them more than she could. It made my day to find out that I was going to be able to get free Murderboner stickers! Thank you so much Kathie!

My weekend was pretty good. Leland and I went to see Transformers on Friday night. I thought it was really good, up until the end. I don't want to give it away for anyone who hasn't seen it, but there is a really cheesy part that could have been left out. Other than that, I enjoyed it. I like movies that have lots of action and lots of things getting blown up.

On Saturday a friend we haven't seen in a while came over to visit. I drank entirely too much. Surprisingly I felt rather decent on Sunday morning.

Sunday was a relaxing day. Leland and I went to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. I thought it was pretty damn awesome. I know this movie has gotten mixed reviews, but mine is the right one! I think if people remember that it's an adaptation they will be able to enjoy it. Of course it's going to leave stuff out and change a few things. Of course it's not going to be as good as the book. But all of the key parts were in the movie, the acting was great and it left me wanting to see it again. After the movie we just came home and hung out.

I got on the Harley for the first time this weekend. At first I was scared out of my mind, but now I want to ride it all the time. I took it out last night and plan on going for a ride this evening with my boss's wife. I'm hooked.

I woke up yesterday morning having a minor freakout that it is already the end of July. There are so many things I want to do this summer and time is running out. I have definitely enjoyed the last two months but I feel like I haven't done all of the things I want to do. Like go mini-golfing, or go for Sunday morning bicycle rides like I used to. I have hardly been swimming; I feel like I'm drying up. My plan for the rest of the summer is to get as much stuff as possible done during the week so I can spend my weekends having fun and doing all of the things I want to do. Last night I actually paid bills and did laundry. That's two things I don't have to do this weekend! Now I need to make sure the dishes are done, the sheets are washed and the floors are vacuumed before Friday.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Introducing a New Blogger

Leland, my hot husband, guitar player for Murderboner, and the man who likes to collect dead things has started his own blog. He's smart, funny, and mildly offensive. I like to read what he writes, because let's not play games, he is my husband. And I think he's brilliant. Please check him out. Leland's thoughts, stories and hyjinx can be found at Whisky on the Rocks.


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Tuesday Ramblings

It's Tuesday. That means two things:
1. I made it through the dreaded Monday. It was a physically demanding day at work and it was a physically demanding evening at home. I mowed the lawn, did the dishes and the laundry.

2. I'm at my office that has internet access so I'm spending most of my time messing around online and not actually doing any work.

This weekend was fairly uneventful (which I enjoy) except for the multiple conversations I had with Siren. She has decided to visit in a few weeks so we can actually work on our movie script. Siren and I have a history of coming up with crazy things we want to do and then never follow up on any of them. At one time or another we have decided to open a school together, start a literary magazine, open a bakery (which we still talk about but will have to wait until we live in the same state), among other things that aren't suitable to talk about online. The movie is our newest love child.

Siren wrote up an outline a week ago and now Leland and I have to read it and make notes. Leland also has to start working on the music. Especially the theme song. If I win the giveaway Carmasez is hosting, I will be swimming in stickers to help promote Murderboner and can be used as a prop. Most of the other props will be easy to find, except for the codpieces which will also have to be made. Do you know anyone having a giveaway for codpieces?

On a separate note, the dead bird that Leland found and wanted to add to his collection is gone. The circle of life continues and I don't have to watch him boil birdy remains on the stove.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Shameless Plug as I Try to Win a Giveaway!

My dear friend over at Carmasez is having a giveaway. Please check her out. She's funny and clever and she's giving away a UPrinting sticker certificate.

This is the first giveaway I have ever entered. I'm especially psyched for this one because I think it would be totally rad to get stickers printed to promote Leland's band Murderboner. The world needs people to have stickers that say Murderboner on them! And if not the world, then at least the band.

Plus, if I have the stickers, I can use them as a prop for the script I'm writing. And then once we make the movie, Murderboner stickers will be everywhere, all thanks to me winning a giveaway from Carmasez!

Here's hoping!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Are you horrified?

Please, please, please say yes...

...though I'm torn between being horrified and having to pee my pants from laughing so hard.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Goodnight Moon

I slept all through the night last night.


So hard that I woke up this morning with drool dried to my chin.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

6 Annoying Traits

Since my last post was basically just me picking on Leland, I thought I would pick on myself for a little while. Just as Leland has some habits that annoy the hell out of me, I am well aware of the fact that there are some things about me that he would rather do without.

1. I am indecisive. I can't seem to make any decision without tons of thought and going back and forth for a long time. A simple question as what I want for dinner can take forever for me to answer. Salmon? Tacos? Pizza? Salad? Wraps? Sometimes it takes me so long to decide that he has gone to pick up his own food and leaves me to figure it out alone.

2. I talk to him while he is talking on the phone. I know this is obnoxious and I'm trying to work on it. He just never seems to ask the right questions or say the right thing that I just have to chime in!

3. He constantly has to pick up after me. I am a pro at leaving my clothes in a pile on the floor. I am allergic to the vacuum. I think the dining room table is a great place for a pile of bills and the bathroom floor is where my shoes belong. This is another thing I am working on.

4. Total Eclipse of the Heart. I love this song and sing it at the top of my lungs whenever I hear it. I cannot carry a tune. I make this song sound awful. But when I sing it, I mean it so much! Still, he hates it. I know he secretly wishes a ninja would attack me every time I sing it. Though I don't think that would make me stop singing it. I really don't think anything would.

5. I scream and freak out everytime I see bugs in the house. I'm usually okay with spiders, but lately my house has been infested with earwigs. I hate earwigs. Last night I was in the basement doing laundry. I reached into one of our laundry bins and when I pulled my arm out, I had two earwigs on it. Of course I shrieked and danced around like the little girl that I am, making Leland all worried. When I told him what happened he said "I thought you were hurt." When I noticed that the earwigs I shook off my arm were now crawling on my leg, the whole episode happened again. "How are you going to survive in the post-apocalypse? You are going to have to eat bugs if you want to survive," he says. Then I reminded him that the post-apocalypse hasn't happened yet and went back to doing the laundry.

This was originally posted with just 5 annoying things, but then Leland had to weigh in. The 6th annoying thing I do is complain about things without doing enough to change them. I hate my job but never look for a new one. I want to lose weight but always have a reason not to go to the gym. I complain about my stomach issues but never go to the doctor. Poor guy! He's got quite a lot to deal with! I guess I shouldn't complain about him wanting to cut the head off a dead bird and boil it in water on our stove!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Leland the Barbarian

Leland has a million awesome qualities. If he didn't, he would never have snagged me. He seems to fit in everywhere he goes. He fits in just as well with the metalhead potheads as he does with the suits he works with. He can have great philosophical conversations and then immediately switch to a conversation about how eating a lot makes someone a patriot. He fits into today's technologically controlled society but also would have made a great cave man.

When I first met Leland I was surprised to find out he was enamored with dead things. He had a raccoon skull that he found in the woods perched on his TV. We later came across an otter skull that he just had to have. In a hallway in our house he actually displays his "dead things" collection. Both skulls are present, along with a few different bugs he thought looked cool.

A few years ago when my sister and her husband were gutting their house and making major repairs, Leland was there helping. As my brother-in-law was tearing apart the garage, a long-dead bird fell out of the roof. It was everyone's natural response to call for Leland. They all were well aware of his fascination with dead things. Leland decided to keep the bird skull and add it to his collection. He thought this one was particularly cool because it still had some feathers attached.

When my parents had a dead squirrel in their driveway, he wanted to keep it so he could have the squirrel feet in his collection as well. He actually did go to my parents house and brought the dead squirrel home, but I talked him into throwing it away after I pointed out that taxidermy wasn't in our budget.

On Friday, we found a dead bird in our driveway.
"Awesome," Leland said, "now I can have another skull for my collection."
"But the bird is totally intact and hasn't yet decayed. How are you going to get the skull?" I asked.
"I'll just cut the head off and clean it up with bleach."

After begging and pleading and being completely grossed out, I eventually convinced him to throw the bird in some bushes and let it complete the circle of life. So he walked to the edge of the driveway to throw it in the bushes with his bare hands! After even more convincing, I talked him into using a shovel. He then told me he would give the other animals a week to get him. If the bird is still there next weekend then it's a sign that he should keep him. I'm really hoping some other animals get him soon. I don't want to have to look at a bird skull in Leland's collection knowing that he chopped up a dead bird to get it.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

They're Back!

All of the blogs I follow magically reappeared! Yay!

Now I'm trying like hell to catch up!

I'm in a Panic

So I logged in to Blogger this morning and all of the blogs I follow magically disappeared! They were there last night and earlier this morning, but now my dashboard tells me I am not following any blogs. Has this happened to anyone else before? Will they magically come back?

I am very sad. Now I have to try and find everyone again. Good thing I have a three day weekend.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Sleepwalking, Sleeptalking

I'm barely vertical today. Leland and I have been sleeping in the same bed for 4 years and there are times when I think we are finally getting used to sleeping together. Then there are times like last night and the night before when he totally invades my space and steals the covers. I feel like we have never shared a bed before. In his defense, we have the worlds smallest bed. I don't think it was ever made to sleep two people. At least two adult people anyway. We always talk about buying a new bed, but then we realize that those cost money. And right now we don't have a lot of extra money. So we continue to sleep in our small bed and Leland occasionally pushes me off the bed or elbows me in the face. Last night I woke up with his arm laying across my face, covering my mouth and nose.

I used to move to the bed in the guest bedroom when he was acting up in his sleep. But then I guess I got too comfortable there and I realized I just stopped trying to sleep with Leland. I would spend more time sleeping in the guest bedroom than I did sleeping in my bed. About 3 or 4 months ago I moved back into my room and made a decision to stick it out. Even if that meant not sleeping. Or having to fight back and push Leland off the bed.