Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Goodbye to the Great 2008

I have a three funny stories about working at the emergency clinic last night and I will make sure to get them up this weekend, but first I wanted to say HAPPY NEW YEAR! As I type, Hot Husband is having a fit in the background because he is unloading the dishwasher and can't find places for all of our stuff. I can't help but laugh because he is comparing his turmoil to that of a single mother. I find his intentional overreaction hiliarious. He is trying to get the kitchen more organized because some of our friends are coming over this evening and he wants it clean so they can mess it up again. In a few hours he'll be able to relax and bid 2008 adieu. 2008 has been an awesome year for us that mostly involved preparations for our wedding and spending time with our family. My only hope for 2009 is that it is as great as 2008.

2009 promises to bring a lot of changes for us, and I am excited and sad at the same time. I can't believe we will be leaving Illinois, but I know this is a journey I am ready to embark on. Can you believe I already planned a trip home??? This week my sisters and I planned a camping trip for August that I am so looking forward to. I hear it's easier to leave if you know exactly when you'll be coming back, so hopefully knowing I won't be totally cut off from my family will help...not that they would ever let me be totally cut off or that I would want to be cut off. And now I'm teared up and rambling....

Oh well. Happy New Year to all who read this. And check back this weekend for some stories about some animals and their extremely imbalanced owners!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas Eve

As I sit at my computer, I can't help but watch the snow fall. My desk faces a window because I wanted to be able to see outside while I write. And although the snow is pretty and millions of people are going to be so happy that there is, in fact, going to be a white Christmas, I groan to myself knowing that I am going to be shoveling the driveway in just a few, short hours. When I woke up this morning, I stayed in bed for a few minutes trying to decided what workout I wanted to do this morning. I settled on Tae Bo, even though I want to throw Billy Banks out a window. However, as I walked downstairs and glanced out the hallway window, I realized what my actual workout is going to be.

I'm excited that today is Christmas Eve, though the holiday really snuck up on me this year. I love Christmas and think it is a magical time, but now that I am getting older, I think I need some young blood in my life to make it feel really special again. With all the changes we are going to be making in 2009, I doubt a baby will be arriving before next Christmas. But if we move and get settled as soon as possible, there is a possibility that Santa will be visiting our house in 2010.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Lies Barbie Told Me

When Hot Husband and I moved in together, I was in shock. I was sincerely surprised that our life together wasn’t exactly like the life I made for Barbie and Ken in my childhood fantasies. Barbie and Ken never fought. They had ravenous sex every day, probably because when I was young I had a difficult time finding the right dialogue for lovers, but I always knew that lovers had a lot of sex. Occasionally they went to work, but because Barbie’s mansion was so much fun to play with, Barbie spent most of her time at home. In real life, fights occurred, sex was rare, and Hot Husband and I actually had to work on a daily basis. It wasn’t until we bought our house that I realized maybe Barbie dolls aren’t the best toys for little girls to play with.

We bought our house in the spring. While looking, we came across a moderately sized cape cod that we fell in love with instantly. The hardwood floors, updated bathroom and the 12 foot bar in the basement were hard to resist. Built in 1932, the house has a lot of history that was very intriguing. We loved the long, oversized driveway and imagined all the parties we could have. No one would have to park on the street. It was no where near the size of Barbie’s mansion, but I figured I could do without the elevator. If we had looked at the house in the winter, perhaps the view would have been different. It is possible the weather could have shown us something else, something we were blind to in the pleasant days of June.

The shocking realization did not occur until the sizzling days of summer made way into a classic Chicago winter. Snow began to fall. It was at this point we understood that the driveway where everyone parked when we entertained in the summer was going to need to be shoveled. All 180 feet of it. I don't know about you, but my Barbie NEVER shoveled a driveway. Trying to be positive, I keep telling myself that shoveling is my new cardio. There is no need to pay for a gym membership as long as it keeps snowing. The only problem is I already have a gym membership. And since the snow keeps falling, I have no time to go to the gym. I pay forty dollars a month and can’t even make my money worth it.

Every time it snows, Hot Husband and I try to make up new ways to keep shoveling fun and exciting. Occasionally we drink heavily before we head out to find the shovels. Sometimes we race in exchange for backrubs. However, none of the ideas make the reality of shoveling any better. The only thing that works is knowing that one more day of shoveling brings us one more day closer to spring.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

This Really Frosts My Cupcake!

Today as I dropped Hot Husband off at work (we are a one car family so we do the carpooling thing) I noticed a very disturbing bumper sticker on the car in front of me. The bumper sticker read: If Mary were pro-choice, there would be no Christmas. I could not believe some small-minded, uninformed, and most likely ridiculously religious person printed those words on a bumper sticker. I have four problems with this bumper sticker and I've put them into a nice list for all of you.

1. For the sake of argument, let's say Mary was pro-choice. THAT DOESN"T AUTOMATICALLY MEAN SHE WOULD HAVE AN ABORTION! There are millions of people who are pro-choice who have not had abortions and would never have an abortion. They just want the right in case it was needed.

2. The bumper sticker could very well be based on a myth. No one has any idea if Mary and Jesus ever existed. I know, I know, religion is based on faith that they both did, but let's not play games, there is always a chance that they did not exist.

3. Mary was immaculately impregnanted by God. If God really is all great and powerful like so many people believe, don't you think he would know if Mary would have had an abortion if it was legal? And if he knew that she would have, don't you think he would have picked someone else to impregnate?

4. It's offensive. Why can't bumper stickers just be funny?

So that's my list. I'm getting angry just typing this so I think I'm going to pour a glass of wine and try to relax and think about all the smart people I know.

Monday, December 15, 2008

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

There is a good possibility I am done with my Christmas shopping. However, there is an equally good possibility I will wake up tomorrow morning and remember some gifts I need to buy that are eluding me at the present time. I am usually so organized with my gifts, but this year I can't seem to keep it together. I suppose only time will tell, but hopefully it tells me something soon because I am rapidly running out of days til Christmas.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

It's Official--I AM a Crazy Person

I just submitted myself to two hours and ten minutes of pure torture. Knowingly and willingly submitted myself to two hours and ten minutes of pure torture. I just opened a bottle of wine and poured myself a large glass to help me forgive myself for being so incredibly lame and crazy.
I just finished watching P.S. I Love You on HBO. What in Goddesses name was I thinking? If you are a sad person, don't watch this movie. If you just lost a loved one, don't watch this movie. If you are a happy person surrounded by all of the people you love, don't watch this movie. For sad people, this movie can bring out your inner Silvia Plath. For happy people...well, I guess it does the same thing. For two hours and ten minutes I squinted at the TV because my tears were blurring my vision, hoping that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel, or that the gas in the stove would miraculously turn off. The only positive thing about the movie was getting to see a few very brief glimpses of Harry Connick, Jr. (who I heart mucho, by the way). But since those glimpses were rare, they didn't turn this depressing movie into a Harry Connick, Jr. swoon fest as I was hoping. So now I am drinking my wine, waiting for a call from a friend who I know will make me laugh and assure me I was a crazy person long before I watched this movie.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

A Little Pity Party...Wanna Join Me?

I should be in a fabulous mood because I'm not working at the clinic tonight. When the weather gets bad I guess people stop playing with their dogs and thus, the dogs stop getting hit by cars. So the clinic is super slow and since I'm a relief tech, I was relieved of working today. And to be honest, I was pumped to hear I didn't have to work. That high only lasted for a few moments because then I got a call from Hot Husband. Hot Husband is in Florida this week for work. FLORIDA! He is in Florida while I am in Illinois dealing with snow. He is in Florida and enjoying 75 degree temps while I am in Illinois dealing with temps that are struggling to hit 20. Ugh! I know it's a work trip, but he still gets to have some fun in the sun while I have to shovel our long ass driveway. I am feeling very, very sorry for myself right now.

The Bachman, on the other hand, is ecstatic. He was bred to swim in subzero temperatures and he thinks snow is the bees knees. While I shiver outside to throw the ball for him, he romps in the snow like it was put there simply for him. And honestly, it has to be there simply for him because I know no one else who asks for the stuff. Usually he curls up beside me whenever I use the computer, but right now, he is standing with his head laying on my lap, wagging his tail, asking to go outside again. Of course I'll give in and put my hat and mittens back on, because he is the Bachman and he deserves to get what he wants, simply for being the Bachman.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

I Jumped on the Bandwagon

I've been missing all week because I did what almost every woman in America was telling me to do: I read the Twilight Saga. As much as I would like to blog about what I thought of the books (totally loved them), I really need to spend some time with the husband I neglected all week. I hope you understand.