Hump Day Hangover

Per reader request, I will have Leland share his thoughts on our little project every once in a while. So without further adu, here is Leland for this week's episode of Hump Day Hangover.

As you are probably aware, Alyson and I have quite the endeavor planned for the next 12 months. I was told that there is some interest in hearing my perspective regarding this matter. I would be happy to share, because quite frankly, why wouldn’t I be?

First off, I will provide some background. My sexual drive has been increasing the past few years. The statement Alyson made in a past post regarding me having 10 erections a day is actually pretty accurate. On average, I would say I get 5 or more random hard-ons a day. I use the word “random” because this happens even when nothing remotely sexual is playing itself out in my mind. I’ll just be at work, drafting a protocol outlining the operational process for a pharmaceutical packaging machine, and BAM! There is my dick, trying to punch through my pants like a person trying to break the window of a burning vehicle with the doors wedged shut. Sometimes, it becomes so uncomfortable that I have to masturbate in order to continue working. Let me tell you, if you have never been paid to get your own rocks off at work, you’re missing out! It’s a win-win situation.

I’ve talked to some of my buddies about my priapismic tendencies. They are all in their twenties, and all of them have said that this sort of thing stopped for them years ago. So here I am, 29 years old, and my penis has the determination of a cock half its age. I theorize that all the weightlifting I’ve done these past few years has spiked my testosterone production, but in the end, I really don’t know what’s happening.

Nonetheless, I was pleasantly surprised when Alyson thought that having sex 700 times in one year was a sweet idea. It really will help us to get into shape, and maybe my random erections will decrease as a result. Most importantly, I think doing this will decrease our frequency of arguments and keep us in a good mood. I mean, how can someone be in a shitty mood if he or she is getting laid all the time? So, for all the ladies out there that talk about “not being in the mood," I just say fuck it...literally.