Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Hump Day Hangover 3
As I am sure you can all see by the counter, Leland and I are WAY behind our goal. This week has been particularly difficult because I was sick all weekend long. We were off to a good start on Friday with morning sex and then it all went downhill from there. Our plan was to go to the climbing wall after work on Friday and then go home and have sex at least 2 more times. Yes, we were planning it. I know, not romantic or spontaneous, but we had to fit it in somewhere.
On our way home from the climbing gym that night I started to feel a little tickle in my throat. When we made it home 20 minutes later, my head was stuffed up and I was getting really fatigued. Instead of having sex, I ate dinner and went to sleep.
On Saturday morning I woke up sicker than the night before. My head was all fuzzy, I could barely breathe, and had the chills and body aches. It did not look like we were going to get any shagging in that day either.
Or so I thought.
Leland rolls over and tells me that he is going to warm me up and make me feel better. As much as I wanted to push him away, I knew we were already behind. I did what I had to do for the cause. I spread my legs.
So Leland climbs on top, and maybe 5 seconds after we actually start doing it he says:
Hold on a minute, I have to fart. It’s going to be AWESOME.
And then this follows:
It literally lasted about 10 seconds. All while he was inside me waiting for it to end.
I couldn’t make this up if I tried.
Good thing I was stuffed up because I wasn’t able to smell anything.
Sadly, that was all the sex we had last weekend. And now I have my period and Leland usually stays away from me when I am bleeding. I am going to try to coax him into having sex with me by putting death metal music on in the background. That should get him turned on. Or I’ll have him take a shower with me. He can’t be grossed out if he can clean himself up right away.
We really need to have sex this week and weekend because Leland will be out of town all next week (in Puerto Rico again, lucky bastard) and I don’t want to get more behind than we already are. Hopefully the death metal seduction will work.
***The AWESOME picture at the top of the page and button on my sidebar was created for me by Elizabeth at Confessions From a Working Mom. She is a great friend and has an awesome blog. If you don’t know her yet, you should. She rocks my world. Thanks so much for your help Elizabeth!***