I am all about the sisterhood of women.
When I tell people this, they usually don’t believe me. It surprises people to know that there is a woman who doesn’t feel like she needs to be in competition with another woman. For me, it’s hard enough to keep up with things I want to do for myself and for my family, I simply do not have time to worry about what other people are doing and try to keep up with them. Aren’t we supposed to be taking care of ourselves anyway? Keeping track of what other people are doing just makes me lose sight of myself.
It also surprises people to know that there is a woman who refrains from placing judgment on other people. Again, I know that there are probably hundreds of people who have judged me from one glance. I am sure this happens routinely when one of Leland’s bands is playing a show. It isn’t difficult to spot when girls are talking about you, and I am almost 100% sure that they are commenting on how someone who is so hot can be with the overweight girl. I don’t like it when people judge me so I prefer not to do that to other people.
I am not saying I am perfect at the whole non-judging thing. Admittedly there are times when negative thoughts about other women slip out of my mind. When this happens though, I really don’t like it. And then I start to feel bad.
Take for example, the word slut.
Slut. Every woman has her own, slightly varying, definition of this word. Some people base it on attitude and how they carry themselves, others base it on a woman’s level of promiscuity. Most always, people are believed to be sluts depending on what they wear. As women, it is very easy to get caught up in the judgment game. Don’t deny it; we have all done it at one time or another. We have all given a random woman a backwards glance, a glance of disapproval, a glance of disgust, simply because we did not like what she was wearing. Running through our heads, we hear the word chanting in the background, like angry men cheering on a team at a college football game. We chant slut! Slut! Slut!
Quietly at first, but gradually getting louder. Slut! Slut! Slut!
Until we can’t take it anymore and we are screaming the word in our mind. SLUT! SLUT! SLUT!
Then we pass the unknowing woman and think to ourselves at least I have class.
Right, whatever that means after we just brand a woman based solely on how she looks.
The word “slut” has many meanings and connotations. The most popular meaning refers to someone, usually women, who have many sexual partners. However, a slut can also be someone who goes out a lot at night, someone who talks easily to men, someone who is confident, and someone who likes the way her ass looks in a tight pair of jeans. With all of these definitions, it is difficult for women to escape the assertion of being a slut. It seems the only way for a woman to avoid being tagged in a negative way is to be shy, marry young, and wear loose fitting clothes.
There are many problems with judging someone based on how they dress. It is rude, elitist, and superficial. It is also a waste of time because the way a person dresses is not an accurate prediction of a person’s behavior. Different women feel comfortable wearing different attire. Just because someone is comfortable wearing a push-up bra and four inch heels does not and should not automatically make them a slut. And women who let their bra strap slip out from underneath their tank tops are not the only people who should not be judged.
This theory works for everyone.
Just because someone is wearing a flowing skirt and flip-flops does not necessarily mean she is more approachable than someone wearing a business suit. The woman in the skirt may look friendlier, but she may very well want to be left alone to do what she needs to do. Just because I dress all sweet and innocent does not mean that’s who I am on the inside.
You all know for sure that I lost my innocence a long time ago.
Please, please, please do not come up to me in the grocery store and ask to talk to me about the Bible. Please, please, please do not approach me and ask if I would like to open an account at your bank. I may look friendly, but then after I tell you that I will only listen to what you have to say if you can list the first 8 presidents in order, you then decide that I am a bitch.
And then that makes me decide that you are stupid because you can’t only NOT name the first 8 presidents, you can’t even name the first three. And like I said before, judging you just makes me feel bad about myself.
See? It can be a never-ending cycle.
It is never a good idea to judge someone on their appearance no matter how much leg they are showing.
Other than the aforementioned wearing loose clothes, there is little we can do to dissociate ourselves with the term “slut.” The best thing to do is embrace it. Be confident. The only way to end the reign of negativity among women is to decide that all women can be confident, all women can be smart, and all women can be sexy. Wear anything, get a boob job, and don’t worry about what others think. Each woman needs to do what is best for her, regardless of how others view her decisions. With any luck, we can change the way the world sees promiscuous women. If women stopped being afraid of being a slut the term will either disappear or will become a word that women see as a compliment.
There is nothing wrong with being confident, smart and sexy.
So lift your skirts a little, ladies. Let’s all be sluts.