Tales from my Twenties

In June I will be turning 30. I’m sort of looking forward to it, excited for all of the things a new decade in my life will bring. My 20’s were amazing. I had fun nearly every single day. I had all sorts of new experiences. I got myself into all kinds of trouble. My 20’s were pure magic.

Though I have faith that my 30’s will be even better, I have decided that my 20’s should receive a proper farewell. So please indulge me for the next 4 months as I tell you some of the best tales from my twenties.

I Have Yet ANOTHER Accident

Wednesday started off as just another day at work. I was dead tired because I didn’t sleep well the night before. I was having one of those days where I felt like I shouldn’t even get out of bed. But duty calls, so I got my ass up and went into work.

It was a normal day for all of two hours.

And then my sleep deprived, emotionally exhausted brain decided to get on the forklift.

Sometimes I am a really big idiot and don’t think about what I am doing. This was one of those times. If I was thinking about what I was doing I would have turned around while I was backing up, instead of just putting the forklift in reverse and stepping on the gas.

No, I didn’t hit another person. I didn’t injure anyone.

But I did hit the furnace that was hanging from the ceiling and cause a massive gas leak.

My boss called 911 and we were told to evacuate the building. When emergency responders showed up, they had to evacuate the entire building. So, because of me, there were dozens of people standing outside in the 6 degree temps, freezing their asses off. A few of us were smart (surprisingly I was one of the smart ones) and decided to wait in our cars until we were given the ok to go back in the building, but for the most part people were freezing outside. Some of them even decided to evacuate the building without grabbing coats.

I sat in my car and waited. Finally a police officer came to talk to me because I needed to file an accident report. It was all professional and boring until he asked me one question.

"Do you get in accidents like this a lot?"

It seems even strangers can tell how accident prone I am.

After laughing to myself I said, “Well, not exactly like this one, but yes.”

When I told Leland what happened he said, “Yeah, that sounds like something you would do.”

After a while we were allowed to go back into the building. It was a little warmer inside, but not by much because the fire department couldn’t tell which gas valve was for my particular unit so they had to turn off the gas for the whole building. And then they had to turn off the electricity.

From 10am until 2:30pm, no business in the entire building was able to operate. We didn’t have heat or electricity for over 4 hours.

All because of me.

I love being the cause of so much chaos.