Friday, February 11, 2011

Tales from my Twenties

In June I will be turning 30. I’m sort of looking forward to it, excited for all of the things a new decade in my life will bring. My 20’s were amazing. I had fun nearly every single day. I had all sorts of new experiences. I got myself into all kinds of trouble. My 20’s were pure magic.

Though I have faith that my 30’s will be even better, I have decided that my 20’s should receive a proper farewell. So please indulge me for the next 4 months as I tell you some of the best tales from my twenties.

I Have Yet ANOTHER Accident

Wednesday started off as just another day at work. I was dead tired because I didn’t sleep well the night before. I was having one of those days where I felt like I shouldn’t even get out of bed. But duty calls, so I got my ass up and went into work.

It was a normal day for all of two hours.

And then my sleep deprived, emotionally exhausted brain decided to get on the forklift.

Sometimes I am a really big idiot and don’t think about what I am doing. This was one of those times. If I was thinking about what I was doing I would have turned around while I was backing up, instead of just putting the forklift in reverse and stepping on the gas.

No, I didn’t hit another person. I didn’t injure anyone.

But I did hit the furnace that was hanging from the ceiling and cause a massive gas leak.

My boss called 911 and we were told to evacuate the building. When emergency responders showed up, they had to evacuate the entire building. So, because of me, there were dozens of people standing outside in the 6 degree temps, freezing their asses off. A few of us were smart (surprisingly I was one of the smart ones) and decided to wait in our cars until we were given the ok to go back in the building, but for the most part people were freezing outside. Some of them even decided to evacuate the building without grabbing coats.

I sat in my car and waited. Finally a police officer came to talk to me because I needed to file an accident report. It was all professional and boring until he asked me one question.

"Do you get in accidents like this a lot?"

It seems even strangers can tell how accident prone I am.

After laughing to myself I said, “Well, not exactly like this one, but yes.”

When I told Leland what happened he said, “Yeah, that sounds like something you would do.”

After a while we were allowed to go back into the building. It was a little warmer inside, but not by much because the fire department couldn’t tell which gas valve was for my particular unit so they had to turn off the gas for the whole building. And then they had to turn off the electricity.

From 10am until 2:30pm, no business in the entire building was able to operate. We didn’t have heat or electricity for over 4 hours.

All because of me.

I love being the cause of so much chaos.


Bird Shit said...

you are giving me ideas on how to get out of working for a few hours LOL

Gail Dixon said...

You are just fearless! LOL It's probably not a recommended way to avoid work, but it'll do, I suppose. Was your boss really pissed?

Btw, I LOVED my 30s. Played tennis, looked good, active every day. Those were good years. Enjoy. Just stay off the forklifts!

Dee said...

ROFL If something can go wrong, we make it go wrong. I feel you!

foxy said...

Don't we all have days like that every once in a while? Okay, maybe not EXACTLY like that... but something perhaps along those lines.

Cool Gal said...

You big troublemaker! LOL...That story is actually very funny. I can just see your co-workers freezing their a$$es off. Hello!

My thirties were great. But, I must warn you, they go by much faster than the twenties. Enjoy!

Have a great weekend!

Liz Mays said...

Too freakin' funny, and I can't believe he asked you if this kind of thing happens a lot. You must have a look about you. LOL

Salt said...

OH MY GOD! I can pretty much guarantee that if I got behind the wheel of one of those things (do they have wheels?) I'd probably make a mess. At least it makes for a great story though!

You have a lot to look forward to in your 30's. I LOVED my 20's and my 30's are even better!

yellowdoggranny said...

did anyone threaten to kick your ass?ha

Joey Lynn Resciniti said...

This is one of the many reasons I'll never be permitted to operate heavy machinery. The world doesn't want to know what would happen.

Great idea for a series!

Kim said...

Hilarious! Oh girl - you and I have so much in common. My 20's were WAY too much fun.
Your 30's will find you wiser and by 40 you won't give a hoot what others think - very liberating!

McVal said...

Oh boy! I hope your 30s are less painful than your 20s!

Macey said...

Ahahahahaaaa!! Sounds like something I would do. I'm impressed you can drive a forklift too!

flask said...

how many people knew you were behind it?

do they make you pay for it? and if not in wages, does everyone, make you pay somehow?

i got locked in a freezer at work once and nobody was cold except me. it wasn't even my fault, and they teased me about it for fifteen years.

Unknown said...

Damn ... it's like you should wear a warning sign! And BTW, yoga pants wouldn't fly at Fashion Week ;-) All the love my dear ... I'll bet the shoes you are wearing are more comfy than mine!!

Anonymous said...

Too funny!

At least you will have TONS of funny stories to tell your future grandchildren!

Anonymous said...

That is too funny. It's like a scene out of The Office.

Vodka Logic said...

I feel bad for you.. try to get more sleep. [less sex?]

Keeper of the Skies Wife said...


Girl, 30? Jeez, I'll be 40 next month....:(

Sandra said...

lmao! At least you're taking accountability!

Anonymous said...

That must have sucked! Hope you are sleeping better. Lol

Megan said...

I love the police man asked if that happened a lot - I sympathize as I would also have had to answer yes!

AiringMyLaundry said...

LOL. I'm amused.

I'll be 30 in 2 years. I'm already starting to panic. Actually, less than 2 years. In June, I'm 29.

Rox said...

My thirties were dreadful, filled with anxiety and worry for the most part. The 40s are REALLY where it's at! That being said, enjoy life whatever age you are at.

Kim said...

OMG that is too freaking hilarious! Accidents happen right? Or was it an accident, maybe you just needed a little break that day! Ha!! I cannot wait to hear more stories from your 20s!!!

kristi said...

Damn You crack me up!

Intense Guy said...

Holy mackerels!

I want to know how you "spun" that incident on your resume'!

"Forced company to stop and consider safety considerations and install shut-off valves where needed"?

:) I bet you were mortified ... at least for a few minutes!

Sara said...

I mean, that's pretty impressive. I hope you're proud of that, because I certainly would be.