I Once Made Out With A....

Last week RN Mama told us a story about how she pseudo-dated a rodeo clown. Of course this made me think about all the unsavory traveling freakshows I have dated.

Well, there was actually only one traveling freakshow in my past.

I know, surprising, right?

(The other freakshows weren't traveling)

And I didn't date this one, it was just a one time impulse decision.

But the one I have was bad enough that I up until now I have only shared this very dark secret with a few people. Like my very good friend Amy....

Last summer I was sitting outside with a friend, drinking boxed wine. We were pretty blitzed and having a great time when my cell phone rang.

It was Amy and it was late so I answered it, thinking that maybe something was wrong.

Instead I could hear her giggling. “Al,” she said. “Mike and I were just leaving Summerfest and we were laughing about the time you made out with a Carnie!”

Only a very, very good friend can get away with making a phone call strictly to laugh at you. But it was funny, and I couldn’t help but laugh along with her. Amy and I weren’t yet friends when the Carnie kissing happened, so she was trying to remember the details to tell her husband Mike about it.

I had to have been around 14 or 15. You know, old enough to go to the county fair with just my sister, but young enough to think that the carnie running the carousel was HOT. I was also young enough to think that nothing would make me happier than having him stick his dirty tongue down my throat.

I remember my sister thinking that he was gross, and that I should not pay any attention to him. But my sister and I split up to hang out with our friends separately, so I did not have her with me to protect me from acting stupid.

For some reason I can remember exactly what I was wearing that day. I was wearing light blue jeans, not quite stonewashed, but close enough. I have no idea why I was wearing jeans because I remember being uncomfortable hot. It was the first week of August in the Midwest. Of course I was hot. I also had on a light pink tank top and brown sandals. I must have been looking smokin’ because I caught the carnie’s eye.

Lucky me!

I must have been so entranced with the carnie because I would not listen to anyone who told me that I should not be flirting with him. I did not care that other people thought it wasn’t a good idea. Instead, I left my friends and spent a good part of the day riding the carousel.

Too bad he didn’t run something cool, like the tilt-a-whirl.

When his shift was over we spent the rest of the night riding whatever I wanted to ride for free. I thought that was a pretty sweet deal. We made out a lot, and then I went home. Thank goddess my sister was smart enough not to take me back to the fair that year. I am sure she saved me from doing other very stupid things.

p.s. Carnie boy may have been the first boy to feel me up, but I’m not really sure….