Yesterday I spent my lunch break at the gynocologist.
(Yes, this is a warning. If you do not want to know about what is going on with my vagina, stop reading now).
A few days ago, after my period had stopped, I couldn't help but notice I was having an excessive amount of clear discharge. There was so much discharge that it was like I was peeing my pants every hour. As hard as I tried to keep myself clean and dry, I was losing the battle. My nether regions were a mess. No stranger to yeast infections, I knew something was wrong. But it didn't seem like I had a yeast infection. The symptoms were different than what I am used to.
So I call the doctor and made an appointment.
I see the nurse practitioner, and after the whole Alyson-has-a-ripped-vagina fiasco, I became super comfortable with her and talk to her the way I talk to all of you: like she is my best friend and REALLY WANTS to know every detail of my life.
First she asks if I have any pelvic pain. "Well actually...", I said, and then launched into the details of the last 8 weeks.
Then she asks what has changed in my life that could have caused the issues.
She asked if I have a new partner. Nope that's not it.
She asked if I have been using new condoms. That's not it either.
She asked if I have been on any medications. Sorry, nothings different.
It wasn't until my feet were in the stirrups and I was scootching my vagina closer to her that I FINALLY realized what was different.
"Oh yeah! I know what's different! I have been having an insane amount of sex lately!"
"Define insane," she said.
So of course I had to tell her about the challenge.
She didn't quite know what to say. So I told her how it is making my relationship with Leland better. I told her how we are using sex as exercise. I told her that I am writing a book about it.
"Those are all good reasons to have a lot of sex, but there is one reason why you shouldn't be having that much sex," she said. "The womam's body wasn't built to have that much sex."
Unlike men, women have problems. Having sex can lead to UTI's, bladder infections, yeast infections, bacterial infections....
Men have it easy. They just pull their pole out and do the deed. Women have to deal with all the issues. My doctor said that if I want to TRY to avoid problems in the future, that I need to take a shower immediately after each time I have sex. And I have to make sure I pee immediately after each time I have sex. The whole rolling over and going to sleep thing is not an option for me anymore.
So I left the doctor learning that I have a bacterial infection inside my vagina, and a yeast infection on the outside that has actually spread to my butthole. That's right people. I have a yeast infection on my butthole.
And Leland thought he was done taking care of me! What a fool. Now he has to put ointment all over my area twice a day. I know he looks forward to it. I mean, why would he not? I get to put my yeast infection parts up in his face for him to take care of. He is such a lucky man.
Even all of this has not made me change my mind about going for the challenge. If anything, I am more determined than ever. Besides, this is all great material for the book!