In A Letter to my In-laws, I told you about the relationship, or lack there of, that Leland and I have with his parents. Last night, he called his mom.
It was a pretty uneventful conversation. Instead of dealing with any of the issues that are between them, they more or less just caught up with each other. When Leland told her he has been talking to his brother, she said, "Well I don't know why you're doing that, he's brainwashed." Really? And how do you know this? You haven't talked to him in 20 years. It seems to me that you don't know him at all so how in the name of goddess can you have an opinion on him? You may be feeling threatened, thinking that Leland's brother is trash talking you. But that hasn't been the case. Though they do talk about you, all The Brother says is that Leland should do what he wants and what he is comfortable with. And really, if he has been trash talking you, would he be so wrong? You have given Leland enough reasons not to like you or want to talk to you, don't worry that The Brother is making things worse. I don't think that's possible.
Wouldn't any normal person want her sons to reconnect? Leland's reconnection with his brother has been one of the most positive things that has happened to him. It's hard for me to imagine that Leland's mom can't be happy that her sons get along, talk on the phone and love each other.
Not surprisingly, she never asked about me. She never asked Leland how his wife is doing. He wasn't surprised either. Though the conversation was civil, and his mom said "I love you," and "I miss you," naturally this was just a baby step. The next phone call will have to start dealing with the problems. Just knowing that his mom loves him and misses him doesn't solve any of the problems. Nothing has been worked out. Leland was worried about making this phone call and it wasn't even the hard one to make. The next phone call, or phone calls are going to be the difficult ones. He'll have to talk about his dad, the way they have been treating him, the way they have treated me. I am sure there will be yelling, I am sure there will be crying and I am sure that when it's all over, I will like them even less than I do now. Though I am trying to keep an open mind. Trying.