Saturday, January 10, 2009

This Clumsy Yankee Girl

While I have been recovering from my concussion, I have gotten a lot of phone calls and texts from my friends and family checking up on me. For the most part, it made me feel good to know so many people care about me. I did, however, get one text from someone I know that implied that I wasn’t taking care of myself. I was told that falling on my back didn’t seem like something I would do. Obviously this person doesn’t know me at all. Falling on my back is very typical Yankee Girl. Throughout my life, I have done plenty of things that weren’t very graceful. Here I have compiled my top ten favorite clumsy things I have done. They are listed in no particular order.

1. I once fell into a pond because I thought it would be a great idea to cross it on a tree that fell over the pond. When I lost my balance, I grabbed a tiny little tree branch to break my fall. Naturally, I fell into the pond and earned a rather large cut on my leg.

2. At my bachelorette party I got so drunk I fell off a chair I was sitting on. I wasn’t even dancing on a bar and I fell over.

3. After the bachelorette party I fell in my driveway. Yes, there was alcohol involved and I don’t even remember falling.

4. I fell up some stairs when I was in Mexico and sprained my ankle. I had to wear the world’s largest cast for the rest of my stay in Mexico. Apparently sprains are treated differently in Mexico than there are in the U.S.

5. When I was a cheerleader in high school, I managed to get trampled by the entire varsity football team and ended up in the emergency room. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and had over thirty guys step on some area of my body. I actually think this is on tape somewhere and wouldn’t be surprised if it’s on youtube at this very moment.

6. I fell into a creek and broke my wrist.

7. I fell down some stairs and broke my tailbone.

8. I fell on the ice and broke my tailbone.

9. I had a folding chair fold up on me and I fell on the cement and broke my tailbone.

10. I went sledding as a child in a friend’s fenced backyard. My sled ended up going too fast and didn’t stop before it reached the fence. Instead of jumping off the sled, I thought it would be best to stay on the sled while it ran into the fence. I wore a black eye and black nose for at least a week.

As you can see, I am a world class faller. I really should get paid to fall. If that were the case, I would have millions of dollars. Maybe my calling in life is to be a stunt double. Though that probably wouldn’t last too long because I surely would get injured on my first job.


yellowdoggranny said...

you maybe the only person I know that is clumsier than me...although I never broke any thing..must be all my padding.

mimi said...

I remember those well. My favorite is the football incident.