My Christmas Letter

I was bored at work last week and I decided to write a holiday letter to include with my Christmas cards. I have never written a holiday letter, and never though I would actually be the holiday letter writing type, but boredom often leads me to doing things that are a little out of character.

And since I haven't done much blogging lately, I thought I would post it for all of you to read. Enjoy!


Well friends and family, it has been a hell of a year.

We are not too sad to see this one go, because like I just said, it has been a hell of a year. But in the season of merriment and joy, and because our lives are oh so interesting, I have decided to give you a top ten list of cool/fun/really-annoying-things-that-we-laugh-about-now that happened in the past year.

Are you ready for it?

Are you sure?

Because it is going to rock your world.

Alyson and Leland’s Top Ten List of Fansmashingtastically Awesome Things That Took Place in 2010:

10. I had a battle with the US Census Bureau. You see, it apparently wasn’t enough for them to count our house once. They had to keep coming back. And calling. So I refused to talk to them, ordered workers off my front porch, gave a ton of wrong information. I am certain that my determination to not be bothered kept census workers in my area working for longer. You know, I did whatever I could to stimulate the economy.

9. Dwight Schrute found a place in our hearts. He is part of the family now. We just cannot live without him.

8. Leland made dreams come true and performed Body Talk by Ratt live onstage for my birthday.

7. We both wrote books that are funny and absolutely ridiculous that everyone should read but will probably never be published.

6. We have discovered our mutual love for bad Channing Tatum movies, which would be all Channing Tatum movies. Who could resist his cheesiness and stupid, brooding look?

5. Leland fell in love with someone else. Actually, he fell in love with two someone else’s. Hall and Oates. He plays and/or sings Kiss on my List at least once a week.

4. I peed on Leland. For real. It was medical advice given to us by Madonna. We were just trying to get rid of a rash. Too bad it didn’t work.

3. We saved a dog from the sad life that is living at a truck stop in Arkansas. Shorty came to us skinny, full of ticks, limping because he had a broken hip, and was the object of target practice and had a bullet in his leg. Now he is overfed, flea and tick free, all fixed up and living with our friend Joe and annoying the hell out of him.

2. I broke my pelvis. Because I rarely do things half-assed, I didn’t just break my pelvis, I broke it in two places. Unable to walk for four weeks, I just lounged on the couch and reignited my love for Boy Meets World.

1. Leland cut the head off a dead squirrel and hung the head from the basketball hoop in our driveway. It was quite the summertime conversation piece. That skull is now sitting in our hallway as part of Leland’s death shrine.

So there you have it. I told you it would rock your world!

Let’s raise a glass and toast to having a fabulous Christmas and a spectacular 2011!