Friday, February 26, 2010

The Best In-laws Ever

I am sure you all puked in your mouths a little at that title, but please read on. I am sure most of you would agree that I do have The Best In-laws Ever.

There has been a lot of talk/complaining going on about in-laws lately, and I just couldn’t be left out of the party. The problem is, I love my in-laws. They are the best in-laws a girl could ask for. I wouldn’t want to change them for the world.

The reason they get the award as The Best In-laws Ever?

They stopped talking to Leland and I nearly 3 years ago.

If you want to know why they stopped talking to us, read the letter to my in-laws.

At first it was hard to deal with the pain of the whole situation that caused them to excommunicate us, but as time goes on it gets easier and easier. For me it was always easy. They treated me like I was dog poop getting eaten by maggots so I didn’t shed any tears at their decision to ignore our existence. I did, however, worry about Leland. I worried because no matter what they said or thought, I am a good wife. But over the past 3 years, Leland has showed me that he really doesn’t care either.

Leland’s mom has started calling him on major holidays and his birthday, but Leland so far has not called her back. I think he is happy that he doesn’t have to deal with them either. And the one time they did talk (which was shortly after I posted the letter to my in-laws) his mom didn’t want to talk about their issues, made bad comments about Leland’s brother, and never even asked about me. I guess she proved to him that she really is only thinking about herself.

Leland knows exactly how I feel about his parents, so it should come as no surprise when he sees the list I have made of why I am so lucky to have The Best In-laws Ever.

1. I don’t have to go over for awkward dinners where we pretend that we all like each other.

2. We don’t have to split holidays.

3. I don’t have to deal with a mother who tries to compete with me for his attention.

4. When the time comes, I won’t have to worry about her judging me for the way I raise my kids.

5. I don’t have to pretend that I like the birthday gift his mother has given me because I don’t even get the crappy gifts anymore.

6. The cool gifts she did give me during the short time that she was trying to like me I am now free to sell on eBay.

7. I don’t have to deal with his mom thinking that she knows Leland better than I do because frankly, she doesn’t know him at all anymore.

8. Other than the random updates we get from other family members, I can completely ignore the fact that his dad is a douchecanoe.

9. When I do get pregnant (because Leland and I have decided together that it was time, not because I was tricking him into getting me pregnant) I won’t have to tell them at all!

10. When they get old, I won’t have to worry that Leland is going to suggest that they come and live with us.

So you see, I really DO have The Best In-laws Ever. I used to have a million things to complain about when it came to Leland’s parents, but now I really do feel so lucky. They are far away, literally and figuratively, and they can’t touch me anymore.

44 comments:

Aunt Juicebox said...

Those ARE the best inlaws ever! And I always thought I was ahead of the game by having the best (DEAD) mother in law ever! My father in law is actually a pretty sweet guy and lives 4 hours away, and sends us cash for xmas and bdays, so he's pretty awesome.

I can sympathize with Leland, having had crappy parents myself, but I'm always sorry to hear this kind of thing. I always just want family to get along, because I have a brother who doesn't speak to anyone in the family except me.

Dual Mom said...

Your list is another reason why I'll never get married again. Oh the stories I could tell.

You must be relieved that Leland is ok with the excommunication.

Adorably Distracted... said...

oh geez! that sucks that you guys have to put up with that. Unfortunately, sometimes it's easier to not talk at all rather then try and decide how they are going to act that day... I hadn't saw that first letter until now! So sorry you guys have to live like that though! At least you are happy!

Have a great weekend!!

Homesick Cajun said...

Wow...that letter you wrote was powerful girl. I can't say that I blame you when you say you have the best in laws every!

Kathie @ Just a Happy Housewife said...

My college roommate always joked that she wanted to find a guy whose parents weren't alive...I think your in-laws are the next best thing. ;-)

Cathy said...

First, I'd like you to know I actually laughed out loud at the sex counter! That is amazing.

Second, your crappy in-laws make me thankful that mine are so cool.

Beth Dunn said...

I'm glad you love yours, that is so nice. I don't have any. xoxo
SC

Elle said...

Wow! They sound like completely toxic people. I'm so glad to hear that they are no longer a part of your lives. It is unconscionable that they have treated their children the way they have. Unreal.

With in-laws like those completely absent from your life, I'd say that none is definitely the best!

Tracy said...

Mine were difficult at first, but now they have finally morphed into acceptable, and most of all, they stay out of our business. that works.

Dollface said...

Aww I am sorry that you had that in your life. I guess it is better for everyone that you dont speak. Im sorry dolly... xxxooo

Mrsblogalot said...

You are my hero!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and #10 made me pee.

I have the best sister-in-laws - aka.. Thing 1 and Thing 2 (jealous?)

(-:

MiMi said...

This makes me laugh because I can relate to it ALL.
Guess how long it's been since we talked to my in-laws?? Going on 12 years. Beat that! LOL!

Cyndi @ 6 Ring Circus said...

Holy crap girl that's a lot to deal with. Or not to have to deal with anymore! The letter was incredibly well-written, too. Leland is lucky to have you. :o)

mummabootimes2 said...

Hoorah for excellent use of the word "douchecanoe"! The letter you wrote was very powerful and this is, too. I'm glad these toxic people are out of your lives - you two will be much happier and your future children won't have to endure obligatory visits to effed-up grandparents.

Confessions From A Working Mom said...

This post was NOT what I expected at all from the title! We almost had a similar falling out with DH's parents a few years ago. I had "stolen" their "golden child" away from his home state (all the other kids and their spouses live within 15 minutes of them, and have their entire lives). Finally, DH stood up to his family and said, "If you ever REALLY want us to move back home, maybe you should try being nice to my wife so she actually wants to see ya'll." That did the trick. It's been much better ever since!

~Elizabeth
Confessions From A Working Mom

Slyde said...

i have to say, my in-laws are pretty cool (and thats taking into account the fact that they live only 2 blocks from us..)

Amy said...

Dude! I am seriously jealous. I would give anything not to see my inlaws for just one day! 2 years??? Ahhhh, it would be heaven!

P.S. Did your MIL really give you diet pills as a birthday present?? Good ridence!

Mandy's Life After 30 said...

Absence does make the heart grow fonder. I'm glad you find the positive in what others would find a bad situation. :-)

aladdinsane12 said...

it's kind of a shame that your future kids won't have a second set of grandparents, but it sounds like they're dicks, so i guess it's for the best. and it sounds like you've given them more than enough chances to redeem themselves and they've blown it. too bad for them. they're missin out on a couple of awesome people!

JenJen said...

Oh my God I love you, and I am totally going to cite you in my blog. APA style. I know all of my readers are BFFs with you already, but hell. I just have to. HAF2!!

Gucci Mama said...

I fell in love with you when I read the words "douchecanoe". Is that weird? Will you move in with me? Not in an "it puts the lotion on its skin" kind of way. In a good, Christian way I mean.

Ok. Enough.

I wish my husband's psychotic mother would write us off. It would be so beautiful. I'm jealous of you.

RN Mama said...

Bahahaha!

I.Love.It! I didn't read the letter to your in-laws yet, but I definitely will. I can totally relate to inlaw shenanigans. On Christmas Eve this year we had the last freakin' straw with mine, and I said Peace Out!

Taylor-Made Wife said...

Wow. I can't believe any parents would be that selfish. Jeeze, it does sound like you are lucky to have them out of your lives.

Kmama said...

Oh wow. I guess they are the best!

I honestly can't complain too much though. My inlaws are pretty normal.

randomblogette said...

Wow! After reading this post and the letter to the in-laws I wanna give you and Leland big hug! The whole diet pills as a present..holy crap! After 8 years I am finally ok with my in-laws. I h ave never really had a problem with my FIL it was more the MIL. When I found out that my daughter had PLU right after she was born, she made the comment that it had to be a gene from the mother because that is what she heard and refused to believe that it was a recessive gene that both of the parents had to have. After going into a deep depression and my own mother telling the MIL off we are on good terms now.

In your case, you are so much better off without them! *HUGS*

Sir Thomas AKA (Winters Reaper) said...

perfection....

does not seem like it could be any better...

Anything Fits a Naked Man said...

Wow, that's just so sad that they chose to cut you both out like that! It sounds like you're really choked up about the whole thing...NOT! Good for you! Did you get a good price for her presents on e-bay?

carma said...

you lucky dog! Hey, and only 696 to go - you are making good progress :D

Secretia said...

That is well thought out. You really have insulated yourself from them. Things could change someday...suprises do happen.

Secretia

heartinhand said...

As a victim of being born into the wrong family, like Leland, I've had to cut ties. My family didn't see my kids for about five years. I didn't even talk to my parents for over a year. Then my mom got cancer. Then I talked to her, saw her, then she died. Sadly, there was no big epiphany, in real life there rarely is.

Thankfully though, I did have the best in-laws ever and that made up for my crap-shit family.

Leland is lucky to have you. You're a good egg.

Monique@Mommyhood Exposed said...

Well I guess they lare the best inlaws! I never really cared for my ex's family either-there was a lot of drama involved on both sides (his parents are divorced) and now I don't have to deal with any of it! It sort of makes you breath easier, doesn't it?

It's sad, but sometimes you have to figure out who adds to your life, and who sucks the life out of you. Sounds the latter were his parents. Good for you guys for sticking up for yourselves! And for your man for sticking up for you:)

Siren said...

Hey babe, careful on your joy meter. Its still fresh for him.

Tracie said...

You are the luckiest gal in the world. You can borrow my MIL if you'd like.

Kim said...

Girl you are hilarious! Should've known I would like you when I saw the picture of you on the bike. Sounds like you have a lot of chutz-pah! Don't know if I spelled that right, but you are my kinda girl. Happy SITS Day and have a great weekend.
Kim

A Nerd and A Free Spirit said...

I just realized I left a comment on that letter post from a long time ago. I hope everything works out. Ugh. We have some issues with step parent as well. It's no fun.

~Kathryn

cindi said...

Love this post. Here's why. I used to have in-laws that treated me and their sone this way. I got a divorce and now they are both dead so either way, they are out of my life. My second set on in-laws? When my hubby and I were first together in high school I loved his parents, they loved me. Now that we are back together, I'm saddened that his dad passed before we reunited and his mother is a diffferent woman who is now a bitter shell of what she used to be. I sometimes think the his dad and should have been the one t live. Sorry if that's mean, but I'm at least honest.

McVal said...

You are the luckiest woman alive! My FIL is dead, but my MIL lives with us... Almost every single one of your lucky reasons, I have to deal with every day.
I'm sorry Leland has this type of parents! and sorry you've had to deal with them.
Your current arrangement is idea!

M said...

What a great attitude you have :)

Intense Guy said...

I wish there was a way things could be made "normal" for you -

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

I was lucky ..I had great inlaws with all 3 marriages..well, the last one was a little nuts and did nutty things..but she taught me about eating healthy, vitamins and when bell peppers were on sale to buy a bunch then chop them up and freeze them to use later..

Eternally Distracted said...

You are so very, very lucky :0) Although mine live a million miles away abnd cause no problems at all... even so, you are lucky!

Cougar Tales said...

Wow! When I read your title, I thought they maybe yours were as great as mine (because they actually are). Sorry for the trouble you have been through with them. Sounds like this is working for you 2 for now. Wish you all the best on keeping them the bestest. :)
- Cougs
www.cougar-tales.blogspot.com

One Cluttered Brain said...

Wow! just Wow! Read the letter, and your hubby is lucky to have you! You seem like an incredibly caring and understanding woman! I am sorry he had to grow up like that.

Anyhoodle, the reason for this visit is because my friend, Triplet Mama sent me here to congratulate you on being such a fantabulous meterologist! You predicted the right amount of snow! WAy to GO! You won!

Talk to you later. nice blog BTW.

Kim said...

When I read the title of that post, I almost died! I was wondering how they could have convinced you they were fabulous. Now I get it! lol...They do sound like amazing in laws! The (almost) best kind, short of you know normal in laws, you know if that phenomenon does exist!