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Hello again, hello. I am writing on behalf of my lady, who is laid up for awhile. Here’s the update: she’s hanging in there. That’s really all she can do. It’s a bummer seeing her in pain, so I just try to make her feel comfortable and crack stupid jokes to keep us both laughing. Unfortunately, we’ve been laughing hardest when she is trying to get up or sit down, so it makes the whole process more difficult. Each day, my number one priority is to ensure my lady does not get up by herself. I cannot let her fall again, so right now I’m pretty vigilant of her movements. As for the shagging, well of course that is still on hold.
Nonetheless, things have been good. I’ve been systematically balancing taking care of Al along with practicing with the band and playing video games, and I think that keeps us both sane. Alyson’s sister has been coming over and taking care of her when I go practice, which is pretty awesome. I appreciate her help and it’s good that Alyson can hang out with someone aside from me all the time. That way, we can get a break from each other here and there. Everything in moderation, even moderation.
So here are my thoughts on this week’s Hump Day Hangover:
Since we’ve begun the 700 challenge, I definitely feel different about myself and my relationship. I remember last year when we would barely have sex. At that time, I would say we had sex two, maybe three, times in a month. This was frustrating at first, so I would try to shake it off. I would go through conversations in my head, wondering why she was not interested in shagging me. As the frequency of sex lessened more and more, it began to weigh heavily on my psyche. Given my Y chromosome blueprint, in general it made me feel like a pair of blueballs. The worst part is when it began to wear on my ego.
The male ego is stubborn thing. However, it’s an important thing. I myself would try to resist the feeling of doubt and shrug it off many times, but in the end the lack of sex made me feel unattractive and alone. I felt like she didn’t want to have sex with me because of some defect in my appearance or personality. It takes a toll on a man’s confidence, that’s for sure. Fortunately, we have since worked out that problem.
Given the 700 challenge, these past two months have been most triumphant. I’m definitely in a better mood most of the time these days. So ladies, remember that it’s important to have fun with your man, and that includes fun in the sack as well. Having sex with your man makes him feel wanted and more connected with his mate. It will also probably make him more easygoing. In my case, the plot twist of the fractured pubis has put a damper on the coitus, but Al and I have been laughing and getting along most of time. Well, except for when she has to get up in the middle of the night to pee. When woken up at 2:45am, we are groggy and just sit in grumpy silence. At that point, silence is golden…and so is urine.
I love that you posted about your past issues. I think this is certainly something that every couple goes through. Its nice to see the turn around! Feel better Aly!!!
A friend of ours a long time ago got us the book "The Great American Sex Diet" by Laura Corn.
She pretty much said the same thing you did... She was also so busy and tired and just not really in the mood. Which is rather ironic because she's a sex therapist! Anyway one day she decided that it really wasn't all that much work to have sex, I mean if you're not really into it and the other person is, you can pretty much just lie there... So she decided whether she was in the mood or not, she was going to have sex at least 4 times a week... and lo and behold as she had more and more sex she wanted to have more and more sex and her attitude and her husbands attitude both improved greatly...
Of course she spices it up for the book, but the basic principle of it is that you should schedule sex and stick to it. Get a calendar, you pick 2 days and your spouse picks 2 days and on those days they get to decide what to do...
We tried it for a little while (back when we had a sex life) and it was a lot of fun... One of our kids was conceived with it...
You have very good points, Leland. I'm thinking my hubby might get some action tonight because of what you said. ;)
Hang in there, Aly... we're thinking bout you!
The counter says 68... you know that means someone "owes" someone one....
I know what you mean Leland... about being... well... "reassured" about things in the manly man department.
I hope "your lady" feels all better soonest. And just think, 30-40 years from now you and her will look back, while you two are doing it in the rocking chair on the porch of the sunnyvale nusring home, and laugh at the funny faces ya made at each other during the 2:45 am bladder relieving...
much thanks for the update and best wishes to her!
a good man is hard to keep down..lucky yankee
Still sending well wishes to Alyson and her broken pubes.
:( Poor girl.
So sweet you are taking such good care of her! Keep it up!
Aly I hope you feel better real soon!
I hope she feels better soon...
And I would like to add, the woman is not always the "problem"
You should guest post every now and then ... good writing and intersting to read ... take care of that Yankee Gal!
Leland you write great posts! you need to have your own section on the blog! Thanks for the updates!
Wow Leland! I think it's awesome that you opened up and shared that private, emotional side of it!
Thank you for being so open. I really appreciate the candidness! Pls tell Ally I wish her the best in recovering. Ugh. This must be rough...with your mission and all. :-)
so is urine, indeed! you always end on a wise note, lee.
you're lucky it was only 2-3 times/month- at the end of my last relationship, it was like once every 3 months. ouch.
things have changed since then ;)
Totally LMAO at the last sentence:) Leland, you totally redeemed yourself from last weeks hump-day hangover!
I enjoy how honest you both are about your relationship and your struggles. Feel better soon Alyson!
EWWW PEEE!! hahahaha jk.
anyway, Leland seems like an awesome dude! And the fact that he is opening up so publicly says alot about him as a real man! Real men have feelings, and aren't afraid to show them!!
So funny. In my relationship, it's me that wants it all the time and he who runs from it. Oh well. Feel better Yankee Girl!
At least y'all sound like you are in good spirits! Take care and have a great weekend!
My hubs and I have had some rough times. I am working on giving it up more, he seems happy! But we have been married over 15 years and our kids (neither of them) ever slept. Ugh.
I was a little lost so read the previous post - poor, poor Yankee Girl :0( Good for you for 'stepping up', really liked your honest post too.
Just stopping in to say hi, hoping you are feeling better.
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