Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Hump Day Hangover 7


If you want to know what this is about, go here.

It’s been a dry week. We have been busy, we have been traveling, we have been tired. The ticker seems to be broken, but I promise it’s not. We will be back to shagging like horny high school students shortly.

Last night was the first time we have had sex in a week. I KNOW! SOOOOO BEHIND.

I swear we are trying and have come to the conclusion that we if can’t pull this off then no one can. Just sayin.

Anyway, we were having sex last night in our living room and doing my new favorite position. It’s sort of like reverse cowgirl: Leland was sitting down on the couch and I was on top with my back facing him. I like it because the sex is great and I get one hell of a workout. And we are doing this to get in shape so the workout part is awesome.

So I am doing my thing, moving up and down, and since Leland is sitting on the couch I am basically doing squats. Hundreds of squats.

I usually HATE doing squats. They are not fun and I will think of any excuse not to do them. Until now. Squats are glorious when there is a dick underneath me, bringing me to a remarkable orgasm. Now I want to do squats all the time and have realized that squats without a dick underneath me are silly. There is no reason I should ever do them the normal way again.

I haven’t done this many squats in a long time and now I can barely walk. My muscles are so sore that walking up the stairs is a truly daunting task. But I don’t care. I will do some more squats tonight.

Because like John Mellencamp said, “It hurts so good.”

37 comments:

KarmaPearl said...

Can I borrow your sex drive? Please? Because mine has decided to take a vacation!

Megan said...

haha, I love reading your blog posts! I'm glad you had fun and got a great workout! I'm also glad my husband doesn't read your blog, because I suspect he would point to this post and go "See! Having sex IS a great workout!" Everytime I start to workout in the livingroom, he's always like "Let's take this workout to the bedroom" and I have to turn him down, haha.

Sir Thomas said...

reverse cowgirl

omg yes yes yes yes....


sorry, got carried away... I like this one....

LuLu Lake said...

Hahaha! LOVE this post! ANd seriously I admire your sex drive! I wish I had one that committed!

MommyLovesStilettos said...

Hmmm I normally hate squats but now you just gave me a great idea :)

Dollface said...

oh my... im laughing AGAIN at work... love the workout twist! xxoo

foxy said...

OMG that is so dang funny! "i'm never doing them the normal way again" - bwahahahah!!

Cathy said...

How am I going to be able to keep a straight face in my weight lifting class tomorrow when we do squats? You know the whole time I'm going to be thinking "this would be so much better with a dick underneath me". Great.

Taylor-Made Wife said...

Haha. Definitely glad hubby doesn't read your blog. Dick's annoy me when Im trying to work out. lol

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

I started doing real squats and my legs felt like noodles, but it is worth it!

My husband is sick so no sex :-(

Secretia said...

They make my muscles sore, but if I had a dick sliding into me every time, it would be so much easier!

The Random Blogette said...

Yeah...I need some of your sex drive too! It has been a while!

Ian said...

That's great man. Your thighs hurt good, what about where Leland went? That hurt as well? ;)

carma said...

I will see squats in a whole new light from this point on...

carma said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Intense Guy said...

I hope you followed that advise, "Please see your physician before beginning an exercise program". :)

It would be great to have a contest - "Try to keep up with Yankee Girl and Leland" but I don't have a partner... But imagine the incentive a little competition would give you (and Leland)?

Vodka Logic said...

When your friends ask why you are walking funny what do you say,,, "new work out program" then do you share,,, thanks for sharing with us

Mrsblogalot said...

Gold' s Gym has nothing on you guys! (-:

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

I'm tired..just reading..ha..

Erin said...

Sounds like your hubs didn't get much of a work out if you were doing all the squats!

aladdinsane12 said...

haha, awesome. yeah, that's probably the only way you could get me to do squats, too. there's just no point otherwise!

in my kickboxing class, we do this move where you are laying back on your forearms and humping the air- maybe i could try to incorporate that into sex...

Elle said...

I feel incredibly lazy and out of shape, because after reading this I thought about how I don't even think THAT could make me like squats. You are my new hero for writing this, and for this adventure you and Leland are on!

RN Mama said...

Bahahaha! I agree squats suck. But doing them with dick under you might make it worth while!

Moooooog35 said...

What is this thing you call, 'sex?'

Tracie said...

I threw my back doing Zumba on Tuesday. (Sadly, that isn't a euphemism for a sex position. I was really doing Zumba.) Anygimpy, the dick squats will have to be on hold till I can actually walk around and sit up without pain.

JenJen said...

PUH HAHAHAHAHAHA I love it. I think the same thing after a nice romp in the Vaginapenis Wagon. I will now think of you and your man boning while I watch crazy ladies squat at the gym. Awesome.

Much More Than Mommy said...

This is one of The Husband's favorites, but HOLYCOW it is a TON of work!!!

Tracy said...

hummm, I will have to give that a try, I guess it should be "we" will give that a try.

Cara Smith said...

HMMM! We do need more of the sexin' in casa de Smith, but unless we put a chair in the bedroom, the squats thing would be out. Maybe I could modify to make it work on the bed.

Aphrodite's Mortal Friend (ME) said...

OK OK OK ... try duck squats ... if you do not know what those are, I can demonstrate- no, I won't really do that- but I will tell you ;-)

leigh said...

Seriously...where does your drive come from?

I need to get me some. Both the drive and the sex!

Holly said...

I am dying...I guess you found new motivation for squats...and that is seriously some motivation! Happy squatting.

the walking man said...

I think I need a video demonstration so I have something to show the old lady that proves this method works.

mo.stoneskin said...

Good grief. This is my first visit here and what a, um, surprise!

Amy Lynn said...

Thought you might be interested... http://www.wetsynergy.com/tryfree.php

The Blue Zoo said...

Great workout for you. Not so much for the man.

My hubs saw your post.... Now he cant wait for me to workout! LOL Oh well for him, I dont like penis with my workouts! LOL

T!nK said...

AHAHAHAHAH. that is fucking awesome!! "squats without a dick underneath me are just silly"