Friday, February 18, 2011

Tales From my Twenties -- Rocklahoma Style

In the spring of 2007 Leland called me at work. “Do you have any interest in taking a road trip to Oklahoma?” he asked.

“Not really,” I said.

“How bout if we were going to see White Lion in concert?” he asked.

I almost didn’t believe him, but sure as shit, White Lion was playing at Rocklahoma, an 80’s hair band/cock rock music festival. I am fairly certain we bought our 3 day passes that night.

We love White Lion and actually give them a little credit for us being together.

In July, we packed the car and road tripped to the concert. We brought all the essentials: clothes, sunscreen and the beer bong.

The festival was in this big field, with tents of merchandise, food and beer set up all around the perimeter. It was HOT. So I did the only smart thing: I started drinking excessive amounts of Miller Chill, even though I thought it was sort of gross.



We were outside for the entire day, switching off between watching a band, drinking beer and doing shots in the alcohol tents, and heading back to the parking lot to make some friends and do beer bongs with total strangers.



I had no idea how drunk I was.

I vaguely remember taking drunken photos with random people.



I sort of recall laying on the grass by my car and taking a nap.

There are hazy images of Leland sticking his fingers down my throat to make me throw up.

I think I even remember some guys seeing Leland trying to make me vomit and commenting on how it was sort of a weird form of porn.

But I had no idea how drunk I was until the following morning. When I was going through my pockets to see how much cash I had left, I found a signed consent form from the Howard Stern film crew. Apparently I gave them permission to use footage of my breasts for their TV show, along with the drunken interview I gave them. The topless, drunken interview I gave them.

Apparently I didn’t learn my lesson after drunkenly signing a consent form for Girls Gone Wild. That story will be coming later.

23 comments:

Organic Meatbag said...

Whaaaaaa??? And why have I not seen this footage??? Uhhh, I meant, glad you had a great time! hehehehe

Squashys Girl said...

OMG! That is too funny!

Dee said...

Lmao that is hilarious! I can't wait to hear the GGW story!

flask said...

oh, man. that's funny.

foxy said...

OMG, you have the best freaking stories. But OF COURSE you found a signed release form!

StarTraci said...

Holy topless video, Batman!

Luckily, my drunken days were before the age of Girls Gone Wild because I certainly have had my moments but was fortunate enough to not have them documented on video! At least, you had fun and have a great "Do as I say..." story for your kiddos.

LOL
:-)
Traci

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

what? holy fuckme!

McVal said...

?? Wow... So how much in royaltys do you still get for showing your breasts?
I remember White Lion! I think I still have a tape around here somewhere but no where to play it...

Ms.Wasteland said...

No, you di-unt!!!!

I love these tales from your 20's!! I want more!

Samantha said...

Too funny! You always have some of the best stories!

RN Mama said...

True love is sticking your fingers down your wives throat to make her vomit....and not saying anything when she bares her boobs for the Howard Stern show!!

I love this story, almost as much as the carney one!!

heartinhand said...

Baba Booey!!!

OMG that story is hilarious! Love the pic of the guy with the tits t-shirt. Priceless!

The Blue Zoo said...

Howard Stern AND Girls Gone Wild?! Damn girl!

Keeper of the Skies Wife said...

Bahahah Did you really? You are a Girl gone wild! :)

carma said...

did you get to see a copy of the footage. I'd save it to show your grandkids :D :D

Just Jen said...

That is so funny! I climbed the rock wall at Oz Fest 1999 topless for an autographed Ozzy cd.

LB said...

Holy shit!! Howard Stern??!?!? I love Howie and friends! Girlfriend, that sounds a lot like a cross between the infield of the Talladega 500 and a Wide Spread Panic concert. I'm not even going to lie. That must be true love b/c I would NEVER put my fingers in the Mister's mouth to induce vomiting.

WhiteSockGirl aka The Fabulous Bitch said...

Helping you to puke = true love!

Awesome story.

Missy @ My Life Ain't Always Beautiful said...

WOW - that is funny. Hope that hangover didn't last too long. Girls gone wild??? Can't wait to hear this story.

Cathy said...

Shut up! I love this!!

Damn those outdoor drinking fests...I mean concerts.

Kim said...

You did not! LOL! And Leland stuck his fingers down YOUR throat to help you throw up? Now that is serious love! Or just absolutely disgusting! HA! At least it sounds like you guys had a blast, that's what counts right?!!

Intense Guy said...

You know something? You (and Leland) may have been the inspiration for the "Girls Gone Wild" video but were to drunk to realize it...

Just think - you may have missed fame and fortune laying there in the grass taking a nap...

Sara said...

If it's any consolation, your breasts look fabulous in that last picture.