Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I Have a Rubber Butt

In my real life I am a very nice person.

(I’m a nice person online too, so I guess that would just make me a nice person in general.)

I like to take care of people so I go out of my way to make others happy. I make myself available to my friends and family whenever they need me. If I am at work or busy doing something else, I will drop everything if someone texts me that they need me to call.

I make the call. I do what I need to do to be there for the people I love and care about.

What is this about, you may be wondering…

I have no idea why some people decide to be blatantly rude to me for no reason.

Take Snake, for instance. Snake likes to pretend that he is in his mid-twenties and party with us until dawn. He is very creepy. He is the older guy who will come up behind you and rub your shoulders even if you didn’t ask him to. He is the older guy who will make jokes about you giving him a blow job. I don’t like him (that’s why I am calling him Snake) but I have never been mean or rude to him. I just keep my distance whenever he is around. I have never extended the hand of friendship but always smile and am polite when I happen to see him.

For some reason he treats me so badly whenever possible. A few months ago while we were at a friend’s wedding, Snake told me that I looked like a whore.

I didn’t look like a whore at all. I was wearing a dress that was right below my knees and I wasn’t showing any cleavage. And several people commented on how pretty I looked. And honestly, the way I looked as nothing to do with it and shouldn't even be considered. What really matters was the display of poor manners.

(That was actually a pretty shitty day for me because the bride’s sister felt the need to point out that I am a “chunky girl.” That made me feel awesome. So even though several people thought I looked amazing, all I could think was that I looked like a chunky whore.)

Once Snake came up to me and questioned why anyone was even friends with me.

The funny thing is, I have been getting that question a lot lately. People have actually been wondering how I have any friends.

I’m not going to get defensive and list reasons why people want to be friends with me. That would just be silly. The people who read my blog because they like to, because they know me and love me, because they think I am funny and because we have formed positive, friendly relationships with each other know exactly why someone would want to be my friend.

And I know what those reasons are as well. So bring on the rudeness, I am not going to let it get me down.

I have a rubber butt, I bounce back.


Jen Majors Yoga said...

OMG how could someone be so mean! You totally don't deserve that. So sorry you had such a bad day. ((hugs))

Just Jen said...

People are stupid. I think that if we knew each other IRL, we would be stuck together at the hip!

p.s. ~ Make sure you drop by my blog tomorrow. You may or may not have won something from my Birthday Bash Giveaway!!! ;)

foxy said...

You just can't even give an ounce of energy to a idiot dickhead like that. Sorry... "snake" seems like way too nice a term... I had to come up with something a little uglier. Do ya'll share mutual friends? Is that why you have to see him at all? If I were you, I'd just ignore him. Or just drop the bullshit niceness all together. Unleash your inner bitch on him!!

foxy said...

Sometimes that feels good, you know? Unleashing the inner bitch, that is.... ;)

Anonymous said...

screw those mean a-holes. Let's be chunky whores together!


jv726 said...

Bah! What a jackass. You don't deserve that.
I know its hard, but try not to take it personally! People that cut you down are just looking for a way to make themselves feel better about something!

Cathy said...

Wow. My mouth actually dropped open while reading that. I would do whatever possible to have no contact with him. It's not worth it to have people like that around.

And, duh, I totally want to be friends with you! We could get into all sorts of trouble together!

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

@#$% 'em!

Let me guess, Snake is an old fart who isn't married or has been 3 times but being the loser he is he is alone again because no one can take his crap for long. He's so insecure that he has to berate another human. Gee, nice guy. Does he have real friends? Or he just lurks around people that he knows?

saying something to him would probably not even get to him he sounds like such an arse. Remember, you can not match wits with those unarmed!! He would be unarmed in the wits department.

Head up! If you're a chubby whore then so am I - so we're in good company.

Anonymous said...

Rubber butt!!! I like that.

It sounds like Snake doesn't like you because you don't buy into his BS. By the way your discription of him was way creepy. I got a nasty mental picture and all.

bounce bounce like a bouncy ball ;)

Dollface said...

You CANNOT listen to the haters.... as long as you know who you are, thats all that matters! xxxoo

Coffeypot said...

Ask Snake what he has to be so proud of. He isn't showing you much.

Gail Dixon said...

I am convinced that people like Snake are so frustrated with themselves that they try to pick apart a good person in order to make themselves feel better. There is not much you can do about someone like that, unfortunately. When stuff like that happens to me I usually ignore the person, and hope they feel like an idiot.

Cool Gal said...

What an a$$hole.

Only cowards tear others down in hopes of making themselves look better. Doesn't work. Never will. Stay away. he obviously has issues.

Anonymous said...

Well, IMHO, any fucktard that says "you look like a whore" or "you're chunky" and lives to tell about it has just walked away from the nicest woman on the face of the Earth because if he were standing across from me, I would be walking away from him with his balls in my purse.

Just sayin'.

LB said...

See??? That is exactly why I am a total bitch! It really is amazing that I have friends.

Honestly, though, who says shit like that??? I dunno... I'm from the South. We just don't come right out and insult people like that. Coy and behind your back, that is our M.O. Tell Snake to go eff himself the next time you see him. Tell him, "That's from a real bitch in Tennessee!"

Unknown said...

I love your attitude, and the fact that you don't let rude people get to you.

Being nice seems to be going out of fashion, and I hate that. Take care.

yellowdoggranny said...

I'd like to rip him a new asshole

Melissa said...

I love you... you rule. Yes, I've had wine, but I feel this makes me more honest, not less. Anyway.... They suck and when you're ready there's a bed filled with dogs here for you to visit and get some loves.

Dee said...

Snake sounds like an ass. And Even if you were dressed like the biggest whore in town he had no right to say that to you (not that you were)! What a douche canoe!

Anonymous said...

Let me just take a wild guess...old Snake is single right? What an asshole. I'd have shot him a nice comeback like "I wouldn't blow you with somebody else's mouth" or "I might look like a whore, but my clothes can change. You, sir, will always be an asshole!" Then I probably would pour something on him. What a jerk!

And the girl who called you chunky? WTF?!

What the hell is wrong with people?! UGH!

Unknown said...

I am teflon - nothing sticks. Ignoring idiots is second nature by now. I ignore them and so should you.

Anonymous said...

You're an amazing person! I am honored to be your blog friend! People are so rude and mean! I think you're pretty awesome!

Amy said...

I would have liked this post to have ended with..."and then Leland knocked the piss out of Snake for calling his wife a whore!"

Seriously...what an asshole!!!

And if you want my opinion, I believe that Snake senses your purposeful distance towards him and acts out the way he does to get your attention. He is essentially an immature 6 year old.

Don't let his, or anyone else's comments get you down. You know better. Smile cutie...You're SO much better than these people!

McVal said...

Oh my! He IS a rude one! Some people talk before they think and he's definitely one of them.
I'm sorry you had/have to go through that! Those type of people aren't worth your time.

Anonymous said...

There is no shortage of rude and hurtful people in the world. Love the title and it's the best attitude. I find that every rude and hurtful person honestly is acting out in response to a jealousy or fear of their own. That's their problem not yours, sadly you were an innocent bystander of their insecurity. These people can't bear to see others happy.

I wouldn't say go out of your way to avoid these people but get them out of your life. Sometimes a good taking out the trash is necessary.

Anonymous said...

What an asshole! You don't deserve to be treated like that by anybody.

Macey said...

Sorry, I gotta use it, the F word. Cuz you have got to be fucking kidding me here.
WHY the hell would someone do that? My first thought with Snake is that he's jealous. He wishes he had a girl like you and he can't get one or feels that you don't like him. Even if you are nice to him, maybe, MAYBE he's intelligent enough to get that you are pretending.
Anyway. So he has to tear you down.
The bride's sister was pissed that she's not the bride. Even if she's already married, maybe she's just an attn. whore who wanted the attention on her that day and she wasn't getting it.
IDK. What a bunch of jerks.

Keeper of the Skies Wife said...

What a freaking ass! I'm glad you have a rubber butt and can bounce back...good for you!

Stephanie Faris said...

Whoa. That's just rude. I figure with people like that, they're so miserable they have to lash out at others. Your justice comes in the fact that you're happy...and he can't change that no matter what he tries.

Carma Sez said...

what a turd - I'm guessing he has a crush on you though and is frustrated he can't have you so he is taking it out on you.

Lourie said...

Snakes and B*tches are the worst poison aren't they? I can't believe either one of those people had the nerve to talk like that. I don't understand that type of behavior. I like the rubber butt idea. :) We rubber butts must stick together.

Mandy said...

Gosh, I'm flabbergasted! Like seriously, how or why would anyone find you rude or unappealing? That's just crazy!

Snake should be renamed to Pencil Dick.

Rude girl who made chunky comment should be called Insecure, Fake Mean Gal.

Do you know why most people make mean comments to others? It's because they are insecure about them selves, they find some underlying deep issue with their lives and they have generally low self esteems.

I like your rubber butt notion. Feel free to shake that butt to anyone who gives you sass or rudeness and remind those folks that you're going home and having sex with the hot guy who loves you. So they can shake their senseless butts home to their poor, pathetic lives! :-)

Love ya,

Kim said...

Holy RUDENESS! Are you serious? Who the fuck says that to someone? Who says either of those things to someone? The point being that whether you looked like a whore or not (and I'm sure you didn't, more like he was just trying to bring you down so that he felt like he stood a chance with you!) he should have kept his thoughts to himself! And really calling someone chunky at a wedding? Could you sound more insecure? What a bitch! Keep bouncing back, you are sooooo better than all this crap!

Intense Guy said...

Totally Snake's loss...


Sara said...

Well, for fuck's sake.

This is going to sound cliche, but I fix people for a living so there's some truth to it:

People that say nasty things like that to other people are, 9 times out of 10, wildly unhappy people.

And no matter how wretched or unhappy anyone is, they do not have permission to say those things to you or anyone else.

Also, if you really wanted to screw with someone who feels compelled to say snotty or unkind things to you, you could always respond with, "Jesus loves you."

If it doesn't make them feel guilty, at the very least, it might annoy them.

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