Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I Once Made Out With A....

Last week RN Mama told us a story about how she pseudo-dated a rodeo clown. Of course this made me think about all the unsavory traveling freakshows I have dated.

Well, there was actually only one traveling freakshow in my past.

I know, surprising, right?

(The other freakshows weren't traveling)

And I didn't date this one, it was just a one time impulse decision.

But the one I have was bad enough that I up until now I have only shared this very dark secret with a few people. Like my very good friend Amy....

Last summer I was sitting outside with a friend, drinking boxed wine. We were pretty blitzed and having a great time when my cell phone rang.

It was Amy and it was late so I answered it, thinking that maybe something was wrong.

Instead I could hear her giggling. “Al,” she said. “Mike and I were just leaving Summerfest and we were laughing about the time you made out with a Carnie!”

Only a very, very good friend can get away with making a phone call strictly to laugh at you. But it was funny, and I couldn’t help but laugh along with her. Amy and I weren’t yet friends when the Carnie kissing happened, so she was trying to remember the details to tell her husband Mike about it.

I had to have been around 14 or 15. You know, old enough to go to the county fair with just my sister, but young enough to think that the carnie running the carousel was HOT. I was also young enough to think that nothing would make me happier than having him stick his dirty tongue down my throat.

I remember my sister thinking that he was gross, and that I should not pay any attention to him. But my sister and I split up to hang out with our friends separately, so I did not have her with me to protect me from acting stupid.

For some reason I can remember exactly what I was wearing that day. I was wearing light blue jeans, not quite stonewashed, but close enough. I have no idea why I was wearing jeans because I remember being uncomfortable hot. It was the first week of August in the Midwest. Of course I was hot. I also had on a light pink tank top and brown sandals. I must have been looking smokin’ because I caught the carnie’s eye.

Lucky me!

I must have been so entranced with the carnie because I would not listen to anyone who told me that I should not be flirting with him. I did not care that other people thought it wasn’t a good idea. Instead, I left my friends and spent a good part of the day riding the carousel.

Too bad he didn’t run something cool, like the tilt-a-whirl.

When his shift was over we spent the rest of the night riding whatever I wanted to ride for free. I thought that was a pretty sweet deal. We made out a lot, and then I went home. Thank goddess my sister was smart enough not to take me back to the fair that year. I am sure she saved me from doing other very stupid things.

p.s. Carnie boy may have been the first boy to feel me up, but I’m not really sure….

25 comments:

MiMi said...

OMG. Congrats on having the balls to share that! LOL!!

jv726 said...

That's too funny! At least you were young so you can blame it on that! :)

foxy said...

Well, at least you got to ride for free! There is a slight bit of positive to your story. And you know what? I've got a lot of weirdos in my past too... can't say any of them were carnies, but there was one very goth guy. Think of The Crow.

Louisiana Belle said...

Haha. One's judgment is not quite there at that age. But hey, at least you got some free rides out of it! My dirty secret is I once made out with a tee shirt vendor at a Foghat concert. There's more to the story, but let's just leave it at that. :) Oh, and I didn't even get a free tee shirt.

Shell said...

Oh, that's so funny!

I don't think I'm ever going to want to let my kids out of my sight!

Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds said...

This reminds me of the movie Adventureland. It was filmed at our local amusement park. I know you're going to watch it to help relive that day of tongue wrestling with a carnie!

McVal said...

Wow! You're not SURE if he's the first one that felt you up? LOL!
Those carnies... Such babe magnets!

Amy said...

That is hilarious. And just so you don't feel completely isolated in your prepubescent embarrassing moment, I will add my own...

Picture this...I'm 15, making out with a guy who tells me he's Dave Mustaine from the band Megadeath in the middle of Bourbon street. It was vile!

To this day my friends mercilessly harrass me about the "deep-throat megadeath incident."

Oy!

Coffeypot said...

Carnies need loving, too. That was sweet of you to offer some lovin. I'm just gald you teeth didn't fall out and you didn't have sores on your lips. But you were sweet.

RN Mama said...

Haha, I'm so glad you shared this whole story!! At least you were a teenager when this happened, the rodeo clown incident happened when I was 20...old enough to know better! Did I mention when he traveled he lived in a horse trailer that had partial living quarters. I made out with a dude in a horse trailer house. Sigh.

blueviolet said...

I'm just glad you only had a makeout session and nothing more. Who knows what gift you could have been given?

Ms.Wasteland said...

At least you didn't run off and marry him. That happened to the mother of one of my speech kiddos. Swearsy.

Aubrey S. said...

It could have been soooo much worse =)

Organic Meatbag said...

Hahahahaha, damn YG, this made me laugh! And yeah, that definitely took some balls (or in your case, tits) to post... I just hope the kisses didn't taste like stale Kools and corn dogs...hahaha

heartinhand said...

I love this post! I once hooked up with a bass player in a band. Imagine my surprise, when seeing him sober, that he had teeth like a retarded mule. How I missed that was beyond me!

Salt said...

Well....hey at least you got to ride rides for free!
I've made out with an unsavory character or two in my past also...you aren't alone.

Helene said...

I once flirted with a carnie too so don't feel so bad. I didn't make out with him but I was going to give him my number when a friend slapped me upside the head and said, "DUDE, the guy probably hasn't showered in DAYS...you are NOT giving him your number!"

I blame it on the sugar high from all the cotton candy.

carma said...

at least he was a hot Carnie. That almost excuses the fact that he was a Carnie ;-)

Stephanie Faris said...

Well, at least it makes for a good story?

Kim said...

I am dying over here! A carnie?!! I really really hope that carnies in the midwest are better looking and cleaner than the ones we get! Ours are so nasty that you avoid eye contact and pretend you don't hear them cat calling or hitting on you! lol! At least you can blame it on how cool he must have appeared through your too young to know better eyes right? Ha! And you did get to ride for free! But umm seriously what was that carnie thinking with you being only 14 or 15! I hope he was at least a young carnie, not a dirty old man! :P

Tracy said...

I would say 90% of us have a story like that hiding somewhere, and if we don't, we are very boring or wish we did!

Missy @ My Life Ain't Always Beautiful said...

ha ha well now it could have been worse. I knew a girl in high school who's goal of the summer was to have a carnie pop her you know.... This same girl later said that she wanted to have a bunch of kids each with a father of a different race to help eliminate racism. So far she has like 7 kids. I’m not sure about the father’s.

Your blog cracks me up. Cute story, and I admire your honesty and ability to laugh at it. Not everyone has a great personality.

I should blog about my fling with the Karaoke king someday. ;)

Intense Guy said...

*laffs*

Coffeypot said everything I wanted to say ... and so damn well too!

:)

SwizzlestickMama said...

Me? I was with you? Why don't I remember this day?

I remember your outfit. Bass sandals, right? The ones that we both had?

Why don't I remember this?

Sara said...

You hit it with a carnie?

Did he have small hands and smell like cabbage? I've always wondered if that description had any validity.

And no shame is necessary, for we have all made these mistakes.

Por ejemplo, I dated a guy who was on the 1)fencing team, 2) chess club, 3) played Magic, The Gathering, 4) still watches anime and 5) once asked me very sincerely, "So, how's your spiritual life?"