Friday, October 29, 2010
Leland and I live in a house that was built in the 30’s. It was once a private residence, a nursing home, and then a private residence again that was also a drug house. We figured it would have some sort of interesting history, but since we haven’t done any research, all we know about the house we heard from the neighbors. Other than it being a drug house, none of the history was really bad. Just normal old house stuff.
When we first moved in, I had a couple encounters with what could have possibly been a ghost. Nothing terribly scary, just some things that couldn’t be explained. Though I was weirded out, I really didn’t think much about it. I just went on living and unpacking and trying to get things organized.
From day one, there have constantly been unexplained noises. We thought it was just the house getting used to us. We have often heard stomping noises coming from upstairs even when there was no one up there. These little things really didn’t scare us. If it was a ghost, at least it was just hanging out and not causing problems. We were hopeful that we wouldn’t turn into the next Amityville horror.
Though all of these little things were happening, I wasn’t that convinced that it was some sort of ghost. I believed they were just noises. No big deal.
Until one night I got up to go to the bathroom at 4am. We do not have a bathroom on the second floor of the house, so I had to go to the main floor to pee. Again, no big deal. I do this all the time. This time was a little different though. When I made it down stairs, I heard music coming from somewhere. I looked outside to see if anyone had lights on or was blasting music in their car.
I wandered into the kitchen to check the back door. When I got into the kitchen I noticed that the music was getting louder and louder. Like I was getting closer and closer to where the music was coming from. When I made it to the top of my basement stairs, there was no getting around that the music was coming from my house. My basement.
I stood at the top of the stairs for about a minute deciding what to do. I really didn’t want to wake up Leland. I am a tough, hardcore woman and I could handle a little noise. But at the same time, I really didn’t want to be one of those stupid girls in horror flicks who knows she shouldn’t be investigating weird noises by herself but does so anyway.
And ends up getting gutted with a machete.
What’s a girl to do?
I went downstairs.
When I got there, I relaxed. It was just a CD player playing one of Leland’s heavy metal CD’s. I was admittedly a little embarrassed for being so freaked out. It was just a CD player. I laughed at myself and went to turn off the music.
I pressed the stop button and it wouldn’t stop.
I pressed the power button and it wouldn’t turn off.
I went to unplug the damn CD player to find that it wasn’t plugged in.
When I went to take out the batteries I found that there weren’t any.
The music just kept playing and I could not turn the CD player off.
And somehow the CD player was running without any power feeding it.
As fast as I could, I opened the CD player, snatched the CD out of it, ran back upstairs, and got back into bed next to Leland. It was only then that I realized I had never peed and really had to go, but there was no way I was going back downstairs alone.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
If you want to know what this is about click here.
Things have been fairly emotional and depressing over here lately and it's starting to get to me. Though I am a very emotional person, I am still usually happy and upbeat. But it has been a tough month and it was really getting me down. I can't do that anymore. I am tired of being a Debbie Downer.
I still have not heard from my doctor, but I GOT MY PERIOD YESTERDAY.
I was happy and sad at the same time, if that makes any sense.
I am hoping that now that the stress of the fight I had with Leland has passed, as well as the stress of having a late period, that Leland and I can start having some fun between the sheets again. I am sure this isn't a surprise to any of you, but things have been stale in the shagging department all month. We have been trying as much as possible, but it's hard to have sex with someone you're mad at, and just as hard to have sex when you're stressing about a possible unplanned pregnancy. I don't think either of us was really feeling it.
One good thing that came out of all of this is that I really want sex again. Admittedly I was getting sort of tired of spreading my legs all the time. But since we have had sex only 6 times in the last 3 weeks, I am ready for it again. I am ready to be done fighting with my husband. I am ready to throw all the stupidity out the window. I am ready to have sex a million times a day. I just hope Leland is ready to do the same.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I can't do this today.
I am reading blogs but not commenting because I can't think about anything other than what is going on with my uterus.
I had my doctor appointment yesterday and all that really happened was that I decided I need a new doctor. After waiting for an hour to see her, she didn't even read my chart before entering because she had no idea why I peed in a cup.
And then when I told her I was 15 days late, she said nothing. So I asked for orders for a blood test and got the hell out of there.
I had the blood test this morning and I am still waiting on results. I cannot think of anything else. I think I am going to break down and be an emotional mess no matter what the blood test shows. I want a baby. I have always wanted a baby. And though this doesn't seem like the right time, I still want one. And now that I have decided what I really want, I feel like the test is going to come back negative and I am going to be so upset.
But if the test comes back positive I think I might have a minor stroke. We didn't plan for this. We aren't ready financially, we aren't really ready as a couple. I am so torn and conflicted and realize that I don't have a say in anything that is happening right now. Someone or something else will be making this decision for me.
I'm just tired of waiting. I just want to know what is going on. Until then, I can't do anything except sit at my desk, stare at my computer screen and try like hell to hold back the tears.
Monday, October 25, 2010
And now for Christy's Monday Minute:
1. Have you ever been hospitalized?
Only when I broke my pelvis. Damn rollerblades!
2. What was the last bit of good news you received?
Good news? I am hoping for some good news today. I have a doctor appointment and hopefully my doctor will tell me I am not pregnant and there is nothing wrong with my uterus.
3. Who was your favorite teacher?
Mrs. Grady was my 2nd grade teacher. She was the nicest little old lady and let me sit by my best friend, even though we talked all the time.
4. Do you sing in the shower?
Not really, but I do let out moans of plessure. I love the way the really, really hot water feels after a long day.
5. Describe the happiest day of your life.
I have been blessed with thousands of happy days in my life and picking one would be impossible. Of course my wedding day made me so happy, but Leland and I have happy days together all the time. So I'll tell you about Saturday, which was a very happy day for me.
Being a Polish girl, every year my mom and sisters spend a day making pierogies for the holidays and stock pile the freezer. On Saturday Leland and I went to my mom's house and spent the day making pierogies with my mom and two sisters. We all did a lot of talking and laughing. We drank 2 boxes of wine. We ate a ton of pierogies but have several dozen in the freezer waiting for the holidays. It was the first pierogi day that we have had in years without any fighting or bickering among the sisters. We were all happy, we were all having a good time, we were all enjoying each others company.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
He didn’t cheat, but he was a big, big ass.
We spent all last week talking, which was fucking exhausting.
And I could barely let him look at me so having sex was out of the question.
Things are getting better, but they aren’t back to normal. I want to be back to normal, but I can’t get Leland’s words out of my head. I don’t know that they will ever go away, but maybe one day I will be able to move on and not think about them all the time.
As we have slowly been moving forward to being the awesome couple we once were, so many other things have been stressing me out.
Work, for instance, has been a great source of stress. Mark, the lazy warehouse worker has not been showing up to work. So that means I have to work in the warehouse and try and do all of my work as well. In order to get most of the important things finished, I have been going into work early and staying late. It has not been fun.
And when the bosses told Mark that he needed to come into work or he was going to lose his job, Mark then told them that he is an alcoholic. So now Mark is covered by the law and he can’t be fired until a series of actions take place. Which means I am going to have to deal with lazy Mark for quite a while. This does not make me happy.
The biggest thing stressing me out right now is that my period is 11 days late. I have taken multiple pregnancy tests and they all came out negative. I am glad they are all negative, but why am I not getting my period? For the past few days I have had some cramping that usually indicates I will be starting my period, but there still isn’t anything. As badly as I want a baby, this would be a horrible time for me to be pregnant. My heart just isn’t in it right now and I am praying that my uterus agrees with me.
Please, dear friends, send out some positive vibes into the universe so that I get my period soon. I can’t handle all of this stress.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
If you want to know what this is about click here.
Leland and I were in bed last night, definitely not sleeping. Since we have been having a ton of sex, our sex takes on different forms from night to night. Sometimes it’s very mechanical sex. This happens when I am so tired and just want to go to sleep, or when we don’t really have time but we want to add another number to the tally. We just go through the motions and get it done as quickly as possible.
Other times it’s hot and steamy. This usually occurs after we have been having mechanical sex for a few days and we need to feel some passion again. We make it last, change positions and by the time we are done we are both out of breath and covered in sweat. It’s gross but awesome at the same time.
Last night we definitely had silly sex.
Leland was going down on me and for some reason I just couldn’t stop talking. First I was asking questions about True Blood, then I was asking for Leland to put a pillow under my ass. We were laughing about how silly we were being, having random conversations while we were having sex.
And then Leland called me a prima donna, because apparently asking for a pillow meant I thought I was like rockstar who would refuse to perform if I didn’t have a bowl of green M&Ms.
When he was done being down in my business, I was ready for some rough shagging. I was all like, Dude, let’s go. You want to know what he said to me?
I’m not a piece of meat, I need to be romanced.
And then we started laughing again and it was all downhill from there. Through the giggles and the stupid jokes we managed to have some coitus. It was not romantic, it was not hot and steamy, it was not mechanical, but it was definitely FUN.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Urban Dictionary describes a metalhead as a fan of heavy metal music, who hates the mainstream and generally does whatever the hell he/she wants and is his/her own person
How to identify a metalhead: long hair, black leather jacket, denim jacket often with patches bearing band logos sown in, tshirt bearing a metal band's name, however, these are not necessary, because true metal lies in the soul.
This desctription matches Leland perfectly. He has long hair, he wears a black leather jacket, and he has approximately 4,354,712 band tshirts. And he also does whatever the hell he wants, like listening to Hall & Oates.
That's right folks. Not only does Leland listen to Hall & Oates, he actually dances to them by himself in the kitchen.
Last night as I was making dinner, Leland went to the computer and started playing Kiss On My List. He was smiling and happy and doing quite possibly the most ridiculous dance moves I have ever seen. When I started laughing at him he said, "hold on, I get to do the backups in a second." And then he started singing the backup vocals. But not just singing, he really meant it. My kiss is on his list.
Or actually, John Oates's kiss his on his list, because when I asked him which guy he would do, he said "Oh, John Oates for sure. I just can't get enough of that 'stache."
Yes, we actually have conversations about what guys Leland would go gay for. And apparently John Oates makes the cut.
For your listening pleasure:
I think the song just asks for people to do ridiculous dance moves.