Thursday, October 21, 2010

Late, Late, Late

It has been a weird couple of weeks. Leland and I got into a big fight on the 9th and I spent all last week angry with him. It was the worst fight we have ever had in our 8 year relationship. It broke my heart. It made me question everything I felt about our marriage. It made me think that maybe love isn’t all we really need. Thinking about it now, it still hurts.

He didn’t cheat, but he was a big, big ass.

We spent all last week talking, which was fucking exhausting.

And I could barely let him look at me so having sex was out of the question.

Things are getting better, but they aren’t back to normal. I want to be back to normal, but I can’t get Leland’s words out of my head. I don’t know that they will ever go away, but maybe one day I will be able to move on and not think about them all the time.

As we have slowly been moving forward to being the awesome couple we once were, so many other things have been stressing me out.

Work, for instance, has been a great source of stress. Mark, the lazy warehouse worker has not been showing up to work. So that means I have to work in the warehouse and try and do all of my work as well. In order to get most of the important things finished, I have been going into work early and staying late. It has not been fun.

And when the bosses told Mark that he needed to come into work or he was going to lose his job, Mark then told them that he is an alcoholic. So now Mark is covered by the law and he can’t be fired until a series of actions take place. Which means I am going to have to deal with lazy Mark for quite a while. This does not make me happy.

The biggest thing stressing me out right now is that my period is 11 days late. I have taken multiple pregnancy tests and they all came out negative. I am glad they are all negative, but why am I not getting my period? For the past few days I have had some cramping that usually indicates I will be starting my period, but there still isn’t anything. As badly as I want a baby, this would be a horrible time for me to be pregnant. My heart just isn’t in it right now and I am praying that my uterus agrees with me.

Please, dear friends, send out some positive vibes into the universe so that I get my period soon. I can’t handle all of this stress.

33 comments:

McVal said...

Oh hon!!! I'm so sorry your life is so stressful right now! Your period has GOT to start soon! Otherwise things wouldn't be stressing you out so much.
I'll be praying for you both.

Adorably Distracted... said...

Wow you do have a TON going on! It freaks me out when anything changes about my pd! A little lighter? A little heavier? I like it being consistent. I'm sure the stress is just getting to you! Try and relax... maybe go for a long walk... take deep breaths. Anything that will help you out. Or just let out a good cry. That always helps me. I just think about something that will make me start and dont stop until their all out. Good luck!

MiMi said...

Oh girl! You've got so much going on, there is a possibility that your period is late because of all the stress! Is it usually right on time?
And you know what? If it doesn't start and you ARE pregnant? Well. Things will work out. God knows what He's doing and I know you know that. :)
Also. My husband and I had a fight like that back in 2005...I still remember the day. It took a long time, long long time to heal from that. But we are stronger than ever and I know you will be too.

heartinhand said...

I'm dying to know what "Stupd Husband Trick" Leland pulled. Men are so damn dumb sometimes. Stay strong, girlie!

All that sex the two of you have, it's a wonder you haven't already gotten pregnant! And if you are, babies are always a good thing. Always.

Kathie @ Just a Happy Housewife said...

I'm sorry you're going through so much right now. Stress is one of the most common reasons for not getting a period on time (I've heard this from a couple of doctors). I hope things get better for you soon!

Mandy's Life After 30 said...

Stress can always cause a period to be late! So it's not uncommon for this to happen!

I hope the hurt from Leland goes away soon. We all say things that we regret or wish we can take back later on, believe me! Hugs to you and I hope things get better soon.

But even if you are pregnant, I think it would be a wonderful thing. The timing might not be exactly right but I know you'd make a wonderful mom and I know you want to be a mom someday so..... sometimes you have let nature take it's course!

P.s. - I'd be estatic if my period was 11 days late! Me, the girl who didn't like her child for the first year is now wanting to have another one! You never know how life and your feelings can change! :-)

Vodka Logic said...

I agree with the others, stress can definitely make your period late and the more you obsess about it the worse. Can you go get a blood test just to be sure.

So sorry about things with you and Leland, if what you have written is any indication of your love for each other I would think you can work it out.. I'll certainly be sending you positive vibes. xx

Elle said...

Sending lots of positive vibes and healing energy your way. Do something for YOU...be selfish for a bit. You'd be amazed what that will do for your stress levels, and once you're not as stressed, your period will makes its appearance. *HUGS*

foxy said...

I'm so sorry that you're having a tough time right now. I'm absolutely sending some positive energy your way.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

I am so sorry your are going through all of this.
Your period is probably due to stress as everyone is telling you. Been there - it happens.

You know I have this awesome relationship that I talk about on my blog all the time BUT everyone goes through this crap. We did once and it was painful and just plain shitty. We talked and talked and talked and then it was slowly getting better but decided counseling may not hurt. And boy did it help move things along! As my hubby likes to say, it was the best thing we've ever done for us.
So just putting it out there to consider.

It will get better.
Cyber (((hugs)))

Coffeypot said...

Once words leave the lips they can never be taken back. But they can be put aside into a category of regret and replaced with love and understanding words. Sounds simple and it is anything but… It will take work and effort to go past words but it can be done.

The sad thing about hateful and hurtful words is the relationship changes and will never go back to what you think of as normal. But you can build a new relationship and make it better and stronger because you can talk and not sulk.

I wish you two much luck and bunches of love.

jv726 said...

I;m sorry to hear that things haven't been going well! I will keep you in my thoughts!

Christiejolu said...

I am so sorry you guys are fighting and he was an ass...Stress can cause you to be late...Gosh I just want things to work out for you guys...You are like my favorite couple!!!

Sunny said...

I'm right there with you. 11 days late and everything is still negative, even a blood test. Still feel kind of pregnant, but hoping its just stress making me late.

kristi said...

Hugs...sometimes my hubby hurts me as well...deeply.

Aubrey S. said...

I'm so sorry to hear that things have been so challenging lately. I know that in the long wrong, things will even out, but if you need a bloggy friend to vent to in the meantime, I'm only an email away. I'm sure that the stress of everything going on is the cause of the period issue, but that doesn't help one relax, does it. Please let me know if I can do anything to put a smile on your face. In the meantime, I'll be praying for you and Leland (and Lazy Mark).

blueviolet said...

I wonder if all the stress you're under is throwing off your cycle. I'm so sorry that you're having a rough time of it lately. Big, big, big hugs!!!

Snuggle Wasteland said...

I'm so sorry you've been stressed out and having a rough time. I hope that someday this big fight is a distant memory for you and that you guys get stronger than ever.

I'm sending you lots of positive thoughts and prayers. Please keep us updated on what's going on.

PS Both of my kids were unplanned (I didn't EVER want to have kids) and things worked out ok for us. You'll be fine either way.
xoxo

Cathy said...

This makes my heart hurt. I'm here if you want to talk. Sending you positive thoughts.

Together We Save said...

Stress sucks!!

Intense Guy said...

I like BlueViolet might be on to something there...

:( I'm sorry you are having such a hard time right now - I'll think positive, cheery thoughts and try to mentally send them your way -

...hopefully I'm not too feeble minded.

Cool Gal said...

Sending you positive vibes.

I'm sure the late period is due to stress. I think it's pretty common. Hell, mine was about a week late a little over a month ago and I was freaking out. Bawling and crap! I'm 43 years old and have a 13 year old son. You get my drift??? Well, you know what, I was a little stressed out at the time. Soon as I started to worry less about it, I got it!

If the tests are negative, I would try not to worry.

Feel better soon (Oh, and men can be such asses! That will get better, too!). :)

Taylor-Made Wife said...

I hate that you are going through all of this. Hubby and I had our worst fight about 4 years ago(before we were married). I'm so shocked and blessed we made it through that. Time and communication will heal you right up! I agree with the other ladies...I can't tell you how oftern I was "late" because of my predisposition to stree the eff out. Go get yourself a massage!

Cristy said...

So sorry you guys are going through rough times. I know they say every single marriage has its "ups and downs" but it never makes it easier during the downs. I'm glad he didn't cheat too...because I would have told you to kick his ass out to the curb.

Another thing...you're probably late BECAUSE of all this stress. That happens. If you go another month without bleeding, I'd go to your doctor so they can make you have your period. Also, keep taking pregnancy tests just in case. Don't mean to freak you out. ; )

Melissa B. said...

Hang in there, chica. Remember-there's gotta always be light at the end of every tunnel, correctamundo?

carma said...

Oh no....I'm sad to read all this. BTW, in our 17 years of marriage, MB and I have had several rough patches - but I know how words can reverberate and be hard to forget :-( I hope that things will be back to normal for you soon. Maybe it is the extreme stress that is messing with your period. I'll be thinking of you xxoo

Tracy said...

sending all the positive thoughts your way. I know what it feels like to be in that position. When D and I were married 7 years, he left me and I found out I was pregnant all in the same week. It was a horrible month. We worked it out and in the meantime, I miscarried but life was just so hard either way. My hugs to you

StarTraci said...

I'm so sorry that you have all this on your plate. Stress alone can cause you to be late. I hope that you and your hubby get back on a good track. That will make everything feel better. Good luck with work and everything elae. I am sending you good vibes on whatever happens!
All my best,
Traci

The Only Girl said...

Oh no! You really are having a bad time. I'll keep my fingers crossed that everything works out the way you want it to.

RN Mama said...

Hmmm...I don't know what to say. I'm hoping this fight isn't what I think it is about? :(

Praying for your period, if that's truely what you want! Keep me updated. Love you LP!!!

The Blue Zoo said...

Damn girl. Sounds stressful right now for sure.

Make Leland some pancakes. Then drop them od the dirty floor. THEN - feed them to him anyways. =)

LC said...

Chin up young person!

So sorry to hear you're going through a rough spot. There is a light at the end of the tunnel... no matter how faint it might seem!

Like a lot of people have already said, you're probably 'late' because you're so stressed. In the midst of planning my wedding, a few years ago, I didn't get my period for two months.

I will send your uterus happy 'please be empty' vibes!

Kim said...

:( I hope you everything is going better now. I hate when life can't seem to just run smoothly.

And I have to tell you that I love how honest you are on your blog. It is something that I really look forward to when you write.