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When Leland and I first embarked on this journey, many of you told me to have fun having sex now, because it becomes so much harder once we have kids. For the past week I have been getting a tiny little taste of what everyone meant.
Leland’s nephews are visiting with us this week. Which is why I haven’t been around at all this past week. They arrived last Wednesday and will be staying until Saturday. Since they have been with us we have only had sex 3 times.
I don’t know how people do it. Maintaining a sex life while there are kids around is so tricky. Maybe it just takes practice. There has been no sex in the middle of the day. There has been no sex in the shower or on the couch. The only time we can do it is at night after the boys are sleeping. And by that time there is a good possibility that Leland and I are sleeping as well.
I don’t know how parents do it. And by “do it,” I mean DO IT.
Really. It is so hard.
Well, actually, IT isn’t HARD at all. Having the boys around has totally deflated Leland’s hard-on. And, if I am being completely honest, it has deflated mine as well. Though I want to have sex, right now it isn’t nearly as important as getting sleep.
Oh sleep. It has been a week since you and I have been close. Please come back to me?
There have been several nights when I have literally begged Leland to have sex with me. By the way, has anyone been keeping track of how much I have had to beg Leland to have sex with me? This is getting out of hand! But anyway, he just couldn’t do it. He has been too worried that the boys would walk in and catch us or that they might hear the tiniest sound coming from our room.
The 3 times we have done it, it has been quite, quick and efficient. And we did it in the dark for the first time EVER. In 8 years, we have never had sex in the dark before this past week. I definitely enjoyed it. It was just new and different and made me feel very sexy.
The boys leave at lunchtime on Saturday. You better believe Leland and I have nothing to do on Sunday but make up for time lost this past week.
p.s. You all know Leland reads this blog, so please don't make any comments about how you never have sex now that you have kids. If Leland reads that, he just may decide to never get me pregnant for fear of losing the nookie. You would be surprised how many times he says "someone left a comment on your blog saying....."
I can't leave the comment I wanted to.....let's just leave it at that : )
I'm just thinking about Sunday...
Hope you are enjoying the nephews! Leland might consider it "Dad training".
Can you not lock the door? Why doesnt he send them off to the movies... haha xxxooo
I have am 8 week old baby and our sex life is actually pretty great, so Leland, don't despair! : )
You just have to take advantage of nap times or do it at 3 in the morning (yes, that has happened because that's when she finally falls asleep), but it's still wonderful!
However...yes, it won't happen the 10 times a week that you're desiring. But, I promise it's not nonexistent at all, in fact, it's pretty fabulous.
exactly. About the sleep. As in craving it more than sex once something happens (this is all code in case Leland reads it)
I would comment, except you told me I can't say what I wanted to. So instead I'll say "welcome to my world".
My guess is that when they're your kids, you won't be as worried about them hearing or waking up.
I think you'll be in the middle of it, you'll hear a child yell, "Can I have a glass of water?" and you'll both agree that it was the wind.
(Clearly, I don't have children either.)
You will still have sex after you have kids. In fact, my sex drive and ability to reach orgasm was even stronger after giving birth!
Mom of two:)
ONLY three times this week... *sigh*
LOL! I love that Leland refers to the comments on your blog. I don't think that the hubs pays attention to the comments on mine. I think that sex is more fun when you have kids. You almost feel like you are sneaking around so that no one catches you. Having locks on the doors helps a lot too.
1. Lock on bedroom door.
2. Loud box fan in guest (kids room).
3. Loud box fan in your room.
privacy and noise issue taken care of and you can always say that you have MANDATORY nap time issue by your Doctors to have an excuse to go to the bedroom in the middle of the day.
;-) Parents are CRAFTY that is how they do it.
Oh yes and MANDATORY out door time for the kids is a way to get them out doors.
Back yards were created for those that needed a place to put the children while they had couple time.
Tell Leland not to worry.... every couple and their situation is different.
I will honestly say this though -- sex is even better after children, in my opinion. I'm a little more flexible and I can climax every time now. :-) Also, we still average about four times per week with a toddler. I think that's just right for us and ahead of most couple's standards.
Don't listen to the talk -- if intimacy is important to you, you make time for it, no matter what! That's what cribs and movies are for! :-)
Heidi has good advice! The dark can be fun!
Eh. Where there's a will, there's a way. (Insert other situation-appropriate cliches here.) I mean, people with one kid often have a second, so we know it's POSSIBLE.
Drug the little fuckers, put them in bed and duct tap them under the covers then go have wild monkey sex with the lights on and off.
Leland is not used to having kids around, but when you have your own, you have a more consistent energy level so it works itself out. :)
Dude. It's fine. You get used to it. You learn the tricks of how to do it when you have kids.
And when they're babies it's really easy cuz they can sleep through everything.
Dear Yankee Girl & Leland,
Fear not. I am not only married with kids, but even a Southern Baptist, and I still have sex and enjoy it. We have even been known to have it while the kids were awake -- it was daring and the quickest quickie ever, but it has happened.
Also. There are locks on doors for a reason!
Much More Than Mommy
I'm so terrified of our sex life changing once babies come along.
Another good reason to remain childfree! This is good news for me.
John & I use to tell the girls we wrapping Christmas presents....even in AUGUST! haha....we told them that we bought presents year round and if they wanted them they best not bother us. It worked!
i feel like just having a full-time job is a huge interference with my sex life, so add kids to that and i'd be pretty much celibate. hope you're having fun, though! dan said those kids were the best-behaved kids in the world.
Let's just say sleep is the sex of parents. Which can be very hot in it's own right. All sex is good!
When you have kids, you just have to get more creative. It's when they're teenagers that it gets a little tricky, there's a whole lot of cockblocking going on then from BOTH sides. =)
The best thing about babysitting is that you can have great fun... and then give them back to their parents!! Happy Sunday :0)
well......hmmmm.....that kind of leaves out everything if we can't say anything about the lack of sex, lol. When they are little it is even harder because they are hanging on you all day long and the thought of another hand on you makes you crawl inside your skin.....that is when things will turn around and Leland will beg YOU for sex. Fair turnaround, right?
LOL Get a lock on your bedroom door.
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