I didn't always hate my job. Years ago, I liked it a lot. The office used to be full of positive energy, I used to laugh and smile at work, I used to feel comfortable there. Now...things are different. I don't think anyone at work knows what positive energy is anymore. I can't remember the last time I laughed at work and the only time I actually smile while working is when I'm not in the office or Hot Husband sends me a cute text message. All of your hard work is forgotten about the minute a mistake is made. Well, that's not entirely true. For something to be forgotten it first needs to be noticed. The office is leaking toxic waste and it infected me a long time ago. Now I'm trying to decide if I should try and impliment changes to boost moral so I can try to have some sort of a healthy work environment or if I should just keep my mouth shut and do my work knowing my days there are limited. I used to be a self-starter and years ago I would have done whatever was necessary to change the work environment, now I'm not sure if I want to fix a system for a manager who has no interest in fixing it himself. But at the same time, I'm not really good at keeping my mouth shut. All night I have been trying to figure out why I am so bothered by the events that happened at work today and I think it's because my job makes me miserable and days like today just make it that much harder to show up tomorrow.
I've stayed at this job for way too long. Though I have always thought about finding a new one, it just never happened. There was always some excuse. Now I have the best reason in the world to find a new job and I am so excited. I have no idea what I am going to do or where I'm going to do it, but I will finally get the job change I never had the nerve to make. Maybe if I think about that all day tomorrow I might be able to smile while I am in the office.