Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Smartest Woman in the World

Because I was asked so nicely to do some entertaining today by Organic Meatbag:

As I was on my way to work this morning I was listening to a Chicago radio station, 101.9fm. Great. No one cares about the radio station, but I thought I should add it in case anyone was wondering.

I tuned in a little too late to hear the whole story, but apparently someone or some group with nothing better to do did a study on whether breast size could be a sign of intelligence in women. And you want to know what they found?

They found that I am the smartest women in the world.

You see, their silly little study showed that women with larger breasts were more intelligent than women with small breasts.

Please don’t shoot the messenger. I wasn’t the one to do this study. Plus, I have no idea what the sample size was or how they tested the intelligence of the ladies. And I have no idea what they consider to be large or small. I really don’t know anything about this at all except that without evening meeting me, they already think I’m smart.

I think this is the best news ever, because without even taking an intelligence test, I just became the smartest woman in the world. I have G cups. Yes, that’s right. G as in Gigantic. G as in Gorgeous. G as in Gee whiz, don’t you look smart!

Ok, so I know there are women out there who have bigger boobs than I do, but I don’t know them so they don’t exist in my little world. And because I don’t know them, I can tell everyone that I am the smartest woman in the world. You bet I am going to take this one all the way to the bank. Not that I actually understand what that expression means, but I am still going to do it.

29 comments:

flask said...

taking it to the bank means you're going to profit from it.

maybe you should open up a poledancing university.

they already have poledancing for Jesus.

Dee said...

Lol I had to scroll up and look at your pic, then back down to where you said your a size G then back to the pic, then back to the size G. Holy hell woman! They would kill me. Lol...but I guess you're smart enough to know how to live with 'em huh?

I must be pretty "not smart" then cause mine are tiny haha!

carma said...

this does not bode well for me, and I'm the one going back to school :-(

you just go on now bragging about your G's...

LC said...

Woe is me w/ my AAs.

I wonder if implants make you smarter....

Organic Meatbag said...

That is pretty awesome! I know that when I see big boobs, I feel somewhat smarter because blood starts rushing to my brain...no, not my "primary" brain...the other, more dominant brain...hahahaha
And thank you very mucho for the shout out, YG!

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

I'm pretty darn smart then. Not as smart as you but pretty darn smart!

I would also like to add that I have found with DD's that having big boobs makes men dumber!!

Sarah* said...

You are indeed the smartest woman in the world! I thought I had it bad with DD's, but I fixed that. I wonder what it means if you've reduced the size! Ha ha!

Sunny said...

Ooh, can I link this in my blog? I love it!

Coffeypot said...

Your G's may mean you are intelligent, but they make me goofy. I just want to motorboat'em.

Stephanie Faris said...

I'm curious if they stipulated that those breasts must be NATURALLY large...because some of the people I've known who have gotten breast implants definitely wouldn't qualify as rocket scientists!

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

holy fuckme..the best news I've ever heard...Goddess bless someone for my big ole tits..and my big ole brain.

Roxrocks said...

I'm a C. I suddenly feel so inadequate standing next to your big old G's. :)

No wonder I'm struggling in my classes...duh!

Dollface said...

G cups?! omg!! thats great... well then if the study is true, you are super smart, xxxooo

McVal said...

LOL! Yep - I'm sure that's the first thing my son thinks when he sees a girl with big breasts. Golly I'll bet she's smart!
I just hope they decide someday that tall girls with high wader jeans are geniuses...

Intense Guy said...

I didn't need 'em to conduct a study to learn you are smart - I'll already knew that!

:) Thanks for the hillarious post!

Ms.Wasteland said...

G = Genius. That's awesome.

I always knew I was dumb. Now I know why. :)

Sara said...

So, what you're saying is that the servers at Hooters are actually rocket scientists?

Makes sense, actually.

Sandra said...

Eee gawd! So you just became the smartest woman in the world and I just became the dumbest! What if I got implants? I wonder if that would help to boost my IQ?

MiMi said...

Shit. I knew it!
I am a dumbass.
The only reason I have boobs is cuz I'm fat! lol

Little Ms Blogger said...

Yay! I'm brilliant!!!!!

Sarah* said...

I know you deleted your last post and I can understand that. Just remember that it's your life. Your family will just have to get use to it. No marriage is perfect, and everyone has bumps along the way. That's normal. I wish you nothing but happiness! I know family can be tough, but at the end of the day you have to do what is best for you and Leland. He is your family now.
Much love to you!

Keeper of the Skies Wife said...

I guess I'm one of the dumbest then! hahaha

G's would kill my back!!! How the hell do you carry those suckers around?

Kim said...

That makes sense! After I had Preston my boobs got bigger and stayed bigger...and strangely enough I also learned how to take carry of a baby! So I got smarter! My knowledge base expanded! And holy shit I thought my DDs when I was nursing got in the way and you have Gs! WHOA! You really are the smartest person in the world!!

A Boring Girl said...

Super funny post! I always knew I was average!

the late phoenix said...

G, gee-whiz! ;)

now what about man-boobs?

let's see, i know that 2+2=5...

Intense Guy said...

Are you "around"? :)

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

that may be why men always talk to our tits, they know that's where the brain is.

Lorena said...

Smartest woman in the world, LOL! Took a minute to look around and u have a really nice site so I added you thru Google Connect..maybe we can follow each other? I just started my blog 4 months ago about travel & design and I would appreciate the support so much!.. I want to make it a place where people can come for escape and inspiration. Please come visit soon and hopefully you like it enough to follow along also :-) Glad to have found your site!

Hugs from NYC
TravelDesignery.com

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