Wednesday, November 3, 2010

It's Hump Day Home Peeps!

If you want to know what this is about click here.

So, this has been a year of having sex.


You already knew that.

Want to learn something that you didn’t know and probably don’t want to know?

We are trying anal.

Yes, I said it. But it was in small, small letters so that means it was a whisper. I am not ready to shout it from the rooftops yet. And I am sure my neighbors are thankful for this. I mean, we have some small people living in our neighborhood and they are too young to know anything about butt sex.

If you want to know how this is going, keep reading. If not, then have a great day and I will see you soon!

After talking about it for a long time, I have decided to give butt stuff a try. I weighed the pros and the cons.

The Pros:
I am in a monogamous relationship
My husband loves me
I trust my husband to be gentle
Leland really wants to give it a go, and since I don’t have hard feelings either way, I thought it would be fair.
It’s a natural laxative and I have been fairly constipated lately.

The Cons:
It will probably be very uncomfortable at first.

Since the pros clearly outweighed the cons, I bent over and stuck my ass in the air.

I have a few girlfriends who sometimes enjoy butt sex so I talked to them first. One friend made sure to point out that you can never have too much lube. Another said to stimulate myself while Leland is working my ass. She said that with extra stimulation I may not notice what is going on in my butt.

We have tried lube, some AnalEase I bought at a sex store and massage oils and I still can’t find a lube that works wonders. The massage oil was definitely the best though. But it still hurt. Leland only had a finger in my ass before I told him to stop.

I’m not giving up though. Next time I will try stimulating myself, or have Leland do extra stuff as well. It didn’t hurt too much that I would never try again, it was just really uncomfortable. The weird thing is that it didn’t hurt when Leland put his finger inside, it hurt the most when he pulled it out. Which is weird, because that is the direction my butthole is used to having stuff travel.

We will be trying again tonight.

And yes, I am still constipated.


Copyboy said...

Definitely ass color to hump day. Oops, excuse me, I meant adds. Not sure why I made that mistake. :)

Just Jen said...

Try telling him not to push. The trick is for you to 'wink' him in. There is a great dvd teaching the art of butt sex here.

If you go to the site from my blog, you get 5% off. PLUS, I'm having a giveaway for a $25 gift card to Eden right now!!

Macey said...

Uh...well. So. Yeah. I love reading your adventures. And. You said lube.

Dee said...

I'm lmao @ Mimi!! Very informative post!!

foxy said...

Hmmmmm... very interesting topic. Lube sounds necessary. Good luck with your 2nd try!

Vodka Logic said...

At least you are giving it the old college try..

Colaise... good stuff. [for emptying]

Carma Sez said...

is it wednesday already??? Oh I could share some constipation stories from this week - the dr put me on muscle relaxants for my badly strained neck from my somersault a few weeks ago - don't ask. Talk about constipation with a capital C. Never been this bad before - ever. P.S. I figured you were already trying the back door judging from everything else that had been tried :D

Anonymous said...

I guess with all that sex you'd want to add new things to the menu.

Not getting turned down 5 times before I give in is about as much excitement as The TO can handle around here.

Coffeypot said...

Going up the Hershey Highway, huh? Yes, it is a little painful and uncomfortable at first, but it does get better - I’ve been told. You are right in the ‘going out’ is natural. So, first, relax and then push back as if you were taking the Crosby kids to the pool. And plenty of lube is good. Hell, slap a handful of axel grease up there if you need it. I have always had success with my partners using KY too.

Unknown said...

yeah, no. I just can't do it.

Anonymous said...

As someone who has recently discovered a hemorrhoid, my asshole was clenched tight throughout this whole post.

RN Mama said...

I don't know what to say. My face was cringing the entire time I read this. Keep us updated on this!!

Anonymous said...

Your best bet is to read up as much as you can and try many things. Some things are more helpful to others. Sex is very personal as far as likes.

My advice is that he make you climax before hand and it would help immensely if you recieved oral and in fact oral to anal stimulation. If you've never tried that I highly reccmomend it. If he is squeamish about sanitary concerns then a great help can be foreplay in a hot shower where you can clean and relax and get a little start.

Oh the "do not push" is very good advice. Allow yourself to choose the pace and time of entry. That's where positions help alot. Good Luck and above all enjoy.

The Random Blogette said...

Wow! Good luck with that. The hubs always makes jokes about sticking it in my butt, but I just could never bring myself to actually do it. Good luck with this and the whole constipation thing. I am going through the same thing with that right now.

Keeper of the Skies Wife said...

Girl you are a hoot!!! You have some balls being able to write about butt sex on your blog! That's what I love about you!!! I'm glad I didn't miss this post! :) I hope your 2nd try worked out for y'all.

Sara said...

I can't tell you how excited I got when I read your whispered words.

My only concerns for you guys are as follows, and it's possible they've already been addressed:

1) Once you finish with the anal, have that boy hose himself down good and proper before putting that thing anywhere else in you.

2) Please don't try to "play through the pain." If it hurts, stop it!

3) Maximus is a good water-based lube for anal because it's thick and long lasting. Silicone is cool because it works in water. Wet Platinum is a good brand. Any kind of oil-based lube is not great for any orifice because it can promote infection (and it corrodes latex, but I think you two are beyond condoms).

I am so excited to hear how this goes and what you crazy kids try next.

As you were.

Intense Guy said...

I ahh.. umm... well...

Hopefully you and Leland get ... it worked out.

I mean the sex, not the ... "C" stuff(ing).

Kim said...

Okay, I'm not going to lie but I think I am more shocked that you guys are just now trying anal than I am that you guys are trying anal! lol. For some reason I figured you guys had kind of tried everything! Here's hoping your new adventure is going better! :P

kristi said...

Yes, it does help you go poop..LOL.