Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Being Great

You know how some people are really great at doing some things? For instance, Leland is really great at playing guitar. Charlie Sheen is great at winning. VC is really great at juggling. Don't know who VC is? Well, he is this really great kid who belongs to Carma. He is super talented and I am always in awe when I see one of his videos. Plus, I think he does backflips every day of his life. Watch the video, you won't regret it.



For years I have been trying to find something I am really great at doing and I have been coming up empty handed. Sure, I do a lot of things well. I’m good at baking and cooking. I do a beer bong better than most people. I can talk on the phone and do laundry at the same time. So I am not saying that I am without any talents.

I just wanted to be GREAT at doing one thing. I have been looking for one thing that I am better at than anyone else I know. Hell, I even want to be better at it than people I don’t know. It has been a long and arduous journey, but it has finally come to an end.

Last weekend while Leland and I were camping I realized that I am REALLY GREAT at…

Wait for it…

Wait for it…

Wait for it…

Peeing outside.

Now, I understand that I will never be better than a man at peeing outside. Logistically it just isn’t possible. But I am very confident that there are very few women in this world who can pee outside as well as I can. I am a pro.

I don’t have pee dribbling down my legs.

I don’t have pee dribbling all over my pants.

I don’t even have to lean against something.

And I do it all without even pulling down my panties.

This wasn’t a God-given ability. I worked hard for this one. I keep telling you how many life lessons Girl Scouts has to offer and here is another. I learned to pee outside like a pro from all those years camping and doing outside activities. I also learned from playing in the woods with my sisters when we were little. Hell, I have even peed behind my own garage because my one bathroom was occupied. What I am saying is I have had years and years of practice. And now I can finally say I am REALLY GREAT at something.

16 comments:

Dark Mother said...

Do you stand up? I'm trying to picture how you pee outside without pulling down your panties.

Coffeypot said...

VIDEO!

Just Jen said...

This is awesome!! I, too, am a great outdoor pee-er.

Intense Guy said...

Laffs@Coffeypot

Now to take it up a notch huh? Like pee into a bottle or be able to write your own name?

Just think, Woodstock, Illinois could be the future home of the Outdoor Pee'ers Hall of Fame.

With a special category for those that can do it without pulling down their panties...

:) you are too much Yankee Girl... LOL!

Dollface said...

Im glad to hear you found your hidden talent!! xxoo

myinnerchick.com said...

---I pee outside when I'm walking on the trail. I go in the woods, but i'm not good at it.
Perhaps you can give lessons. HA HA

Mercedes said...

That is an awesome talent to have. lol

mylifeaintalwaysbeautifulblog said...

You my dear always mangage to crack me up. Chicks who can pee out side are cool. It just proves you aren't prudish or stuck on your self. ;)

So glad to see that you are blogging again. ;) I'll be back!

blueviolet said...

Now you've got me all curious about how to do it!

flask said...

panties?

pffft. i stopped wearing them years ago when i got serious about peeing outside.

carma said...

thank you for posting the video :-) - I'm so proud of VC - his tricks have gotten even more spectacular since that video - especially his back flips and twists....

I sympathize with your search for finding something you are good at; I've struggled with this for years and VC says he would love to see me find my "thing" --

I can guarantee you it is not peeing outside though. Will leave that to you - the pro - maybe you can post a tutorial??? ;-)

Stephanie Faris said...

Hmmmm...peeing outside, huh? I don't think you can take it on America's Got Talent but your talent is MUCH more useful than, say, being able to juggle or sing!

Debbie said...

LOL Love it! That is quite and accomplishment! (love your profile bio on your blog - very cute)

Kim said...

I love it! What an awesome talent to have! i can pee outside but I am definitely not a pro! I can't believe you don't even have to pull down your panties! That's amazing!

Parsley said...

I have to ask...what is your secret? ;-)

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