Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Want World Peace, Ladies? It's In Our Hands

Last night I was out to dinner with Leland and our friend Joe to celebrate Joe’s birthday. We were at our favorite Mexican place, drinking margaritas and Dos Equis Ambar, and Leland and Joe were having conversations that are very typical of them.

They talked about:
* Skullfucking
* How far is too far to walk to a bar (they decided when they are sober walking is a bad idea, but when they are drunk it’s the best idea in the world)
* Crazy ex-girlfriends
* Personality disorders (they were trying to decide which personality our friend’s girlfriend brought to the bar on Saturday night)
* Ninjas
* Girl Scouts (I was ok with the conversation until Joe inquired about what kinds of badges Girl Scouts earned. Laundry badges? He asked. This isn’t the first time I have wanted to bash his head into a table and he knows it)

Since I have known Leland and Joe for the same amount of time I am used to their foolish banter. Most of the time I don’t even hear them when they are talking. But something they said last night caught my attention. They have a solution to bring world peace.

That’s right people. My husband, honest-to-a-fault Leland, has the answer.

His answer? Girl-on-girl action and female nudity.

He believes that if women walked around topless and/or naked, men would stop fighting with each other. In Leland’s mind, if women were making out on street corners, men would be way too distracted to fight wars. His answer to bring peace in the Middle East? Only allow Lipstick Lesbians to join the military. Men will be too elated by all the girl love to remember what they are fighting for.

Want to end terrorism? Send in some naked chicks. Afghan men will be too busy trying to cover them up to plot terror attacks.

School shootings? Topless hot female teachers.

According to Leland, there is nothing that cannot be solved by naked women.

Proof that women have more power than we even realize.

31 comments:

Dollface said...

oh my gosh... so basically if we get naked then every problem is over, hahahah i love it! xxxooo

skinnybitching said...

HILARIOUS! i'm sure my husband would agree with leland on this one..... haha

Adorably Distracted... said...

lol it probably would work... that's the sad thing!

Intense Guy said...

Hmm.... mmm.... ahh...mmmm...

Hey! I think Leland is a GENIUS!!

Did you know how much money comes with the Nobel Peace Prize??

...and just think, you'd be there for the celebratory dinner... naked, of course...

i am the diva said...

brilliant!

wines constantly said...

I think your husband and mine would get along famously given that those conversational topics are entirely too familiar.

I do find that taking my top off is a very successful strategy in getting my hubs to do chores, so perhaps Leland has indeed found the elusive world peace solution =)

Mandy's Life After 30 said...

Where can I sign up to volunteer? NOT!

Although I realize Leland makes a valid point. My husband would sure join his cause. BUT....

What about an equal opportunity? What about Men on Men action for us women? Maybe we wouldn't nag as much about laundry and dishes needing to be done? Hmmmm....

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

and people wonder why I'm still single and haven't had sex in 24 years.

carma said...

I'd run this past my husband, but I already know he would be in complete agreement

What is Leland's proposal for the cold winter months? ;-)

Sassy Chica said...

oh to be a fly on the wall for this conversation; sounds like you took good notes!

Your husband will go down in history for trying to find world peace, a proud wife you should be!

Smooches,
Sassy Chica

Secretia said...

Yankee Girl, we do have more power than we actually use. It's awesome what we can get men to do with our bodies, and mentally, with suggestion and inuendo. Butt, words only go so far, and then we of have to follow through, which we usually want to do anyway, at least I Do! Getting work done around the hose by BF is the hardest part.

World peace control with our boobs and some mutual stuff? Could Be! If we can get everyone to participate. I will work locally to seee what happens-ha ha,

Happy Halloween to you guys!

Secretia

TheSingleGirl said...

Well duhhhhhh.

What would we do with our time ANYWAY, besides grab eachother boobs and do laundry?!

*Wonders where to pin 'laundry', 'cooking for men' and 'being quiet cause football is on. baby' badges....*

;D

kys said...

Maybe they should run for office. Many people would vote for them with that platform.

Miti said...

Guys, what will they think of next. That's quite an imagination! LOL

Stephanie Faris said...

If we walked around naked they'd be excited about it for a while, then over time everyone would just get used to it and we wouldn't even notice anymore. Although the girl on girl stuff might not ever become something we get used to seeing all the time.

Jessica said...

Ha! Tell him that nudie and semi-nude tribes were some of the most violent on earth. Human sacrifices, cannibalism... um, yeah. The men were reaaal peaceful. *snort*

Cute post, though. :-)

Found your blog from Speaking From the Crib.

strugglingwriter said...

When I was younger my theory was that most wars were cause by men who wanted to impress women.

Then Bush happened and I realized all of our wars are because of oil and money.

However, maybe men just want money... to impress women!

Summer said...

And proof that men aren't as smart as they think they are.

=)

Jeve (aka John and Steve) said...

You lost me at girl on girl action.

BTW- what's skull fucking?

Cairo Typ0 said...

Too funny! I know without a doubt that my husband would agree whole heartedly. Naked women for peace!! LOL

Penelope said...

Tell funnyman that there are parts of the world where women *do* walk around topless, and it doesn't stop the men from warring and killing and other bad things. it's in a man's nature to want challenges and whatnot. your hubby thinks it's a great idea because women don't walk around naked, but in Europe, where many beaches are topless, men don't even notice the women anymore.

Everything loses its novelty and gets boring. Modest women are why women are still interesting to men (women who have it all hanging out lose their appeal fast).

Lol at the funny stuff men say!! I was laughing at his simple solution. Would that it were that easy *wink*

I'm not sure I want to know what skull****ing is, so I'm not going to ask, but eew at the stuff that went through my mind at that term!

Lilee said...

nice blog!

WhiteSockGirl said...

He believes that if women walked around topless and/or naked, men would stop fighting with each other. In Leland’s mind, if women were making out on street corners, men would be way too distracted to fight wars.

LMAO!!!! Very funny!!! What men would and say to get us naked and kiss each other. Even bring world peace into the mix.

JennyMac said...

hahaha...interesting concept. My neighbor who constantly throws his cigarette butts in the street in front of our houses would surely benefit from this plan. LOL.

texlahoma said...

Leland rocks! It's that kind of out of the box (or in this case out of the bra) thinking that made this country great.

Sassy Chica said...

Hello Dahhhling,
I am checking in every so often, I understand about the computer problems and think its a total bummer..so I will patiently wait for your return!

Smooches,
Sassy Chica

Sarah said...

LOL! Too funny! And it probably would work. :)

Housewife Savant said...

How could you EVER think about bashing the head of such a brilliant man?

Aubrey said...

I don't know how I missed this post before, but this is hilarious. And probably true.

Kim said...

Ha! I definitely needed to be reminded of all the power I hold! Especially the next time I'm trying to explain a big purchase! lol

Organic Meatbag said...

And such deep thoughts started with skullfucking talk?? Hahahah