Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Hump Day Hangover 6
If you want to know what this is all about, go here.
Over the last few weeks, I have been asked about the Hump Day Hangover rules and what we count as sex and what we don’t count. We have been given a ton of suggestions that we have been taking into account, but to make it easier on ourselves, we have come up with 5 rules. They are pretty simple and easy to remember, which is good, because I am too busy having sex to take time to remember some silly rules.
In case you are wondering (and I know you are) here are our rules:
1. Any act with the word “sex” in it can be used as one of the 700 times.
2. Such act MUST end in an orgasm to be able to be counted. For instance, if I just tickle Leland’s cock with my mouth a little before we commence with the shagging, that is not sex, just foreplay.
3. Sex acts must be a team sport. Playing solo may be a good time, but does not earn a ticker on the scoreboard.
4. Unless is it oral, each act must be with either one penis and one vagina, OR (though we haven’t been there yet) one anus and one penis. Hand jobs and fingers do not count. Neither do vibrators.
5. We both need to make sure we are doing an equal amount of work. If Leland is on top one time, then I need to be on top the next. We break this rule fairly often because Leland is always the only one with energy for morning sex. He just climbs on while I lay there and do nothing.
Just for fun, here are some terms you may want to familiarize yourself with:
Trifecta: This happens when I give Leland a blowjob and then he returns the favor. Shagging occurs immediately after. Bam! Three more numbers on the scoreboard.
Bisexta: We do this when either I have a cold and can’t breathe through my nose to give head, or if I have my period and it would just be gross for Leland to give me head. Only one of us gets the pleasure of oral first and then shagging follows immediately after. Two times down.
Lazy sex: This is usually morning sex when I am being lazy and not doing ANYTHING.
Failing: Not having sex.
Succeeding: Having sex every single time Leland gets a random hard-on. Whenever Leland gets a boner he is all over me for sex. If I push him away or tell him no, he always asks, “Do you want to fail, or do you want to succeed?” It works nearly every time and we end up doing a hot dance.
I am pretty sure I have already turned Leland into some sort of sex addict and we are only 6 weeks in. We’ll have to see how this progresses. And if he is an addict, at least he knows he can get it from his wife.
Leland and I are leaving this afternoon to visit his brother in Shreveport, LA. I have never met his brother, sister-in-law or their two sons. I’m pumped and so excited to get the hell out of town for awhile. It’s a 14 hour drive, but it’ll be a quick trip because we have to be back at work on Monday. I probably won’t be reading blogs or leaving comments. Have a great rest of the week and a happy Easter!